Yesterday was the first day of The New Job. Which is, of course, a misnomer, since it's the same damned job, just with another day in the week. But it did seem like something different, if only because of The One Big Change - my lunch hour. Yes, I previously received 30 minutes for lunch, and now am required to take an hour. Not "permitted", but required. That's because I'm in the dark ages of salaried employees wherein I still punch a time-clock, and if I neglect to take an hour off, I'm still debited an hour of pay. So I'll be taking an hour off, of course. Although it does indeed confuse me. Why is it that on Thursday I worked 8 hours and took 30 minutes for lunch, and that was fine with everyone - the Director, the Board of Trustees, the Administrative Assistant, the rest of the staff, the state of Flatland, the federal government, and even the Big Man Upstairs - but yesterday I worked 7.5 hours and had to take an hour for lunch or risk the wrath of any number of those people and/or entities? I even received a memo stating the policy in detail, setting out specifically that the hour lunch does not provide the salaried employee with the option of "coming in late" or "leaving early".
Silly me. I thought that I'd been promoted to this position in part because I am a responsible person and can be trusted to work my average of 7.5 hours daily and 37.5 hours weekly. Perhaps even without being monitored. And that sometimes (for instance, when I have an appointment or desire lunch from a restaurant) I'd take an hour for lunch, but sometimes I'd come in at 9:00, take a half-hour lunch, and leave at 5:00. And, fuck it, get all my work done in between.
Apparently not. Now I have to, what, eat slowly?! Waste my own time? Or, perhaps, be so fucking bored during my lunch time that I just go back to work because I'm sick of smelling the rotting staff room, or feeling the lack of heating & cooling, or listening to the inevitable yammering of my coming-and-going colleagues?
I'm going to take this up with the Head Cheese when she returns from her vacation next Wednesday. My big problem with it is that each of the other salaried employees has an individual office. Each of them can take a lunch break in that office, closing the door and blocking out any attempt by coworkers (or employees, for that matter!) to demand that they work during that period. They can use their email, blog, file their nails, nap, or do whatever they wish to do. I, on the other hand, have no office door. My desk is in the middle of a big room with 3 other desks and a table and at last count 8 unused computer monitors (plus component CPUs, printers, servers, etc.). The place is not conducive to relaxation. And my nearest coworker is certainly not conducive to my relaxation. This is just another wrinkle in my personal situation that wasn't considered when I was "promoted" that needs to be ironed out before we go too far along this road.
So I'm dealing with it passive-aggressively, by playing music over-loud and blogging when I should be working. It's making up in a tiny way for all the time I've spent reading journals at home in the last year, I think, so I don't feel overly guilty. Besides, I've been wanting to mention this...
There are a couple of things that I really, really like that, when contemplated, make me think that my perspective is rather from the male point of view. Case in point: I love driving too fast. I particularly love driving a manual transmission too fast on curves, and most of all, I love the shift from 3rd into 4th on a left-hand curve - that sense that, if I don't keep my feet where they belong, I could go sailing into the ditch...Mmmmm! Maybe it's a gentle but pervasive desire to lose control. Other things that are like this: I like beer. A Lot. And a good steak. And Mythbusters, and Star Trek: The Next Generation. War books and playing pool. I don't know; this sounded more...Earth-shattering in my head. Must give it more thought and readdress later.
Robert recently had a blog entry and thread of comments about music that makes him (and others) happy, even if it's not stereotypically "happy" music. I didn't participate in the commentary because I wanted to give it more thought. That I've done, and here's my non-exhaustive list.
(1) Laid by James ("You're driving me crazy; when are you coming home" defines my dating life in college and makes me laugh out loud, just like the first time I heard it.)
(2) Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root (this song sticks in my head like a jingle, but I groove on it like a freak)
(3) Oh L'Amour by Erasure (I know it dates me, but, the campier the better when it's Erasure. Boppy, singable, heartbreaking.)
(4) Drama!, also by Erasure ("The Lord only knows, the ultimate necessity of love" - mmm!)
(5) Throw Your Arms Around Me by Hunters & Collectors, although the Pearl Jam version isn't so bad (not that I'm a Pearl Jam fan by any stretch of the imagination)
(6) Nightswimming by REM (oh my God this reminds me of high school, even though I never went swimming at night. We'd drive down to the River and hang out by the Wagon Bridge or Latsch Beach or Catholic Beach and drink beer or screwdrivers. So much sand in my car.)
(7) Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something (huh, I just realized how this list is very, er, 'now'. That is, what I'm thinking about at this very minute. Oh well. As for this song, I think it's on every mix I've made in the last year.)
(8) Smooth by Santana w/Rob Thomas (I've dreamed this song for the last three nights. What's that all about? But I wake up with a smile on my face.)
(9) I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred ('cause it reminds me of someone who thought he wasn't sexy, and there's very little that's more sexy than that. And the line about the kitty cat is just funny)
(10) Be Good to Yourself by Journey (although almost anything on the Greatest Hits CD would do. I can't hear Journey without singing.)
(11) Out of Your Life by Bob Mould (a wonderfully angry song)
(12) Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind (I still remember exactly where I was when I heard the song for the first time - a Target store, of all places - and it was the only time that I ever heard a song and immediately bought the CD that it was on. A victim of marketing, certainly, but I loved and still love the song.)
(13) I Knew You Were Waiting for Me by George Michael w/Aretha Franklin (although "happy" is a relative term. Happily contemplative, rather than happy-with-my-tongue-hanging-out-of-my-mouth-like-a-hound.)
(14) Just Can't Get Enough by Depeche Mode (I cannot remain still when I hear this song)
(15) Mission by Rush ("I wish I had that instinct /I wish I had that drive")
Subject to change.
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