rules, part one

A book recently passed through my office. Such things occur every day. This one was notable, though, for the fact that it had, listed on the dust jacket, several "Rules for David." (Apparently a number of guidelines set out by an older brother for a younger one.) They are:

• If the bathroom door is closed, knock (especially if Catherine has a friend over)!
• Say "thank you" when someone gives you a present (even if you don't like it).
• Don't stand in front of the TV when other people are watching it.
• A boy can take off his shirt to swim, but not his shorts.
• Some people think they know who you are, when they really don't.
• No toys in the fish tank.

    Six simple rules.
    What would you add? Send an email to any address you have for me, or if you don't have an address for me use the one in the copyright statement at the bottom of this page. Or leave something in the comment section of this post. I will compile (anonymously or with attribution, at your preference) any results in a week's time.
    And I leave you with something philosophical, yet appropriately snarky:

Those who have come here to hate should leave now, for in their hatred they only betray themselves.

[trans. from The Book of Life, quoted in Phantom by Terry Goodkind]