hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another

The more I try to tell myself to "be good" or "behave", the harder it is to do anything at all that's not outrageous or dangerous. I wonder if, like prophylactic caffeine to keep those headaches at bay, I've become inured to a certain basic level of disarray and acting up. If I have perhaps, moved to the swamp.

[title quotation by Homer]