if it is worth taking, it is worth asking for

I would like to write a short, cute, pithy post about the last couple of weeks' activities. It's impossible for me to write it quickly, though, since I've yet to wrap my brain around it for myself, much less in a way that will allow me to express it sensibly to anyone else. It's certainly not yet mellowed to the level of "cute." And "pithy" implies an eloquence or forcefulness of which I'm not currently capable.

A list will have to do.

• I've moved, thanks to 9 people who: cooked for me and the crew; moved my stuff; drove the truck; kept my old place clean; tried to clean the new place; made some unexpected, impromptu repairs; and kept me sane.
• I cleaned the old place from top to bottom, thanks to 2 very dear friends who gave up a full holiday weekend to laboring in a sweat-box with a stressed-out caffeine addict.
• I got back my full security deposit plus my last month's rent, which I'd paid when I moved in - thank God, as you'll see later.
• Upon moving in, I discovered some problems. The new place was not what it had seemed. Most apparently, it was dirty. Less obviously, it had defects: serious problems that affected the day-to-day use of the structure and keeping my possessions within it. I began to experience significant doubts about my future there.
• Because of those doubts, I knew that I could not trust the people with whom I'd made the agreement to stay there. I needed to get out.
• Since I made that decision (or, more accurately, since I intellectually acknowledged that I'd already made that emotional decision), I've been searching for a new place to live...again. Although the school's-out period might seem like the perfect time to look, there really isn't much available right now. I was starting to feel pretty desperate. I also wasn't sleeping well, or at all, because of the insecure feeling that I have in the current place.
• It pays to know people. On a whim, I stopped by the office of my former landlord/real estate agent, to see if she knew of any available rental properties in my price range. She knew someone who knew someone, and when all was said and done, I had an excellent prospect. I'm going back to see it again tomorrow night (probably) with a friend--a second pair of eyes is key, now, so that I don't miss anything like I did the last time. It will be a while before I trust my own judgment as freely as I did before.
• I've spent every night sorting, discarding, and packing. It is incredibly depressing and stressful, thinking about moving again, and also about extricating myself from the place and the people that I've come to so dislike and distrust. There are times when I really, really wish that I could just turn over the reins to someone else, because I don't think I can handle this for one more moment; I've clearly proven that I'm not up to the task. But there is no one else, so I take a breath, suck it up, and start again. It's not so long before all of this will be just a memory.

[the title quotation is a Gaelic proverb]