Is there a sure-fire way to tell when one is inappropriately aggrandizing a new relationship, as compared to when one simply has legitimate reason to be hopeful? I need some help with this (and any other) area of discernment.
A few weeks ago, in the latest (Mar./Apr.) issue of Bookmarks magazine, I read something that really shook me up--the Letter from the Editor (Jon Phillips). That's not something at which I would usually even glance, but it caught my eye and I'm terribly glad that it did. It's as if he wrote it just for me.
Are most readers introverts? It's a fair assumption: who else would be more likely to spend hours at a time, alone, with a book? It's estimated that introverts make up anywhere from 25 percent of the population to just under half. A survey of librarians conducted by Mary Jane Scherdin in 1994 found that about 63 percent of librarians tested as introverted.That summed up my feelings so well! Give me a place to do what needs to be done, and then stay out of the way so I can do it--we'll get along fine. The alternatives...are less happy.
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To our extroverted readers--I'm jealous of you! Unlike us introverts, people probably don't mistake your shyness for snobbery or wonder why you need to be alone so often. You ability to think out loud trumps my need to ponder a sentence over and over again in my head before saying it in front of people.
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Though many books in the self-help section of a bookstore or library attempt to console us introverts who suffer from these challenges, those of us looking for a more nuanced and historical approach to our personality will enjoy Susan Cain's new book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Cain inspires us with role models, examples, and advice, even if we have to remain vigilant against too much self-congratulation as she argues that a majority of the gifted population is introverted.
Of course, we introverts hope that extroverts will read a book like Cain's and gain tremendous insight into our worldview. Perhaps at work we won't be forced to brainstorm in front of people or have our leadership capabilities evaluated according to the sheer forcefulness of our personality. At home, friends and family--who are used to our quirks by now, surely--will have greater understanding that our need to recharge has nothing to do with them. The powers that be will place us in positions of high regard--while leaving us alone for most of the day!
That seems unlikely.
[the title quotation is by Rumi]
thanks for this post. I especially like the "won't be forced to brainstorm in front of other people" and the idea that people won't mind when you have to be alone for awhile. I am lucky at work that people understand when I take my lunch and go into quiet room and shut the door. It's odd, because I am SUCH a teacher, but one that needs to be away from noise, and who gets nervous in crowds.
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