I'll trust by leisure him that mocks me once

epenthesis

One of my friends is the queen of malapropisms and epenthesis; I find her way of talking inscrutable at times.

oneiric

Prepare yourself; there is an odd, oneiric sequence below.

struthious

The tall, long-necked but bottom-heavy woman's avoidant personality matches her struthious appearance.

Mrs. Grundy

It can be difficult to manage the desires of the liberal-reading hordes with the fastidiously nervous--and vocal--Mrs. Grundy.

gerrymander

Interesting, isn't it, that the office reconfiguration physically separated the more thoughtful opponents from the management staff; it was a sort of gerrymander via reconstructive architecture.

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1. What type questions do you hate on a meme?
   the kind that have only one honest answer ("have you ever been hurt by love") or leave absolutely no room for discussion ("what's your favorite color") or are so intrusive or logically stupid as to be unanswerable ("what's your mother's maiden name")
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
   I couldn't legally marry the last person I texted. The last person I could legally marry, whom I texted, would be my best friend's son. OH MY GOD, please no.
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
   it depends how you define "when you woke up." I was having an extremely strange dream about eating lunch with my friend Heidi while she revealed having done a background check on me and discovering that I'd had three children that I'd named Ezvow, Zved, and something else that started with a Z but clearly wasn't either a word or a name. I'd then given them up for adoption, but only approved the adoptions under the condition that they would retain the ridiculous names I'd given them. She was trying to appeal to me to rescind the clause and free them from the burden of those names when I woke.
   I woke up giggling.
   And then I remembered that I had to go to work. SIGH
4. When were you on the phone last? And with whom?
   I was on the phone with my friend Sam for an extensive period of time over Thanksgiving weekend. Apart for short work conversations since then, that's it lately.
5. Who are you excited for?
   wow, that's a really odd question. Let's see...in general terms, I was touched and gratified by the greeting I got from a coworker this morning, after having stayed home yesterday (feeling under the weather). I ran into a couple of friends at the grocery store tonight and we made plans to have dinner next week, which was both a surprise and something to look forward to. I'm eager to see my family and some good friends when I'm back at the ranch over the holiday. Does that answer it?
6. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
   honestly, that would be Fluffy.
7. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
   other than my foot (in response to a friend's slightly racy Facebook post): the last gravy-covered crusty bit of my dinnertime chicken pot pie. And it was delicious!
8. Have a best friend?
   yep. Here's what that means: there is a person (or, in my case, a very small group of people) to whom I feel comfortable saying almost anything, to whom I go in my times of need and also my times of joy, with whom I share everything good and most of the bad, whom I trust, who I would defend loyally and without question, protect fiercely, take a bullet for, and never give less than I've got.
9. Were you ever or are you scared to fall in love?
   there is a difference between "scared" and "really cannot see the point in making the effort"
10. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
    of course
11. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
    ...was a 2-year-old, yesterday, at my place of work. Sad, isn't it? You probably think a little less of me right now. If you knew the back story, you might not feel that way. I've had to *&;^(ing explain that backstory enough times, to people who ought to give me the benefit of the doubt, that I'm not even going to bother. Suffice it to say that the location of the place where I toil is STUPID, ill thought-out, and could not be less conducive to actually performing the function that I'm being paid to perform.
12. What time is it right this second?
    20:07
13. What do you want right now?
    a small portion of bittersweet chocolate pudding (with the skin, please) topped with real whipped cream and accompanied by some tea brewed so strong that you could stand a knife in it.
    Or a new job and about 2 months' expenses paid. And a set of winter tires.
14. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
    God knows. Maybe my cousin, at my brother's wedding? It's been a while.
15. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
    I daresay the last isn't exclusive to the "single" state.
    And I'm not wild about "taken" as a contrast to single.
    But no, I don't date.
16. When was the last time you cried?
    about a week ago, I watched a couple of episodes of season 4 of the television show Leverage, "The Van Gogh Job" and "The Grave Danger Job." Each of them is an expansion on the depth of one of my favorite characters (and the interaction between a couple of the characters), and I was in just the right mood for them to hit me in an especially sentimental way. I cried almost nonstop through both.
17. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
    I do, more often than not. We have our moments, but that's how it is with most of the people I care about a great deal. I'm not especially easy to live with--even from 250 miles away.
18. Do you find it hard to trust others?
    hard? No. But that doesn't mean I do it readily.
19. How fast does your mind change?
    another question that I find inexplicable.... What are you asking? What is the point?
    I change my mind a lot. Readily. For reasons. Sometimes the reasons make sense. Sometimes they're based on facts, science, stuff I can explain. Sometimes they're based on feelings, whims, urges, alcohol, brain damage, whatever. Sometimes I'm just lazy. Sometimes I just like to be perverse and irritating.
    Does that help?
20. I bet you miss somebody right now. Who is it?
    at this very moment, I'm perfectly fine to be alone. Wise man say, "I like privacy for its own sake. ... It is not because I am ashamed to be seen, but because I prefer not to be seen."
    [William Hale White (a.k.a. Mark Rutherford), in Last Pages from a Journal]
21. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
    Please note, even if the word "honestly" has not been used in the question or answer, you can assume that I'm being straight up while writing this.
    yes, I'm OK. Thank you for asking.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by William Shakespeare, from Titus Andronicus {Act I, scene i}]