find out what it is that grips your very life

What is it that makes you cry?
It is only your attachments.
What is it that you miss when it is lost?
It is the object of your attachment.
Ponder over this.
Find out what it is that grips your very life,
without which you feel miserable and destitute;
that is the center of your attachment.

Here is what you should do:
make an effort to find out what things
it would hurt you to lose.
Then, before they are lost,
open your hands little by little,
relax your grip on them.
This is the method for conquering attachment.
There is bound to be pain,
but you must bear it;
this is your penance.
It is not necessary to renounce anything.
It is not that you should leave your wife
and run away to the Himalayas.
Remain there, where you are,
but gradually stop depending on her.
There is no need to cause any pain;
your wife need not even know it.
There is no need to tell her.

Seek out the attachments.
Try gradually to live without the things
that you now think you cannot live without.
Create such a state within yourself
that if and when these things are lost,
there is not the slightest tremor within you.
Then you will have attained victory over these attachments.
This can be possible.
It has been possible.
And if it has happened to even one,
it can happen to all.

[Osho {Rajneesh} {1931-1990}, from Bliss: Living beyond happiness and misery]