6.15.2018

you are remembered for the rules you break

  1. If there is a lotto with 50 numbers, and a player picks 6 numbers without repeating any, what are their chances of getting all 6 winning numbers? still shit
  2. If there were no laws and no rules, name three things you would do that you don't/wouldn't/can't do now? still have to presume a moral law, so it's hard to imagine going too crazy. I can't say there's nothing that I'd like to do, no laws or rules I'd like to break, nothing I want so badly that I'd do almost anything to have it. But the "almost" is the key. If I have to destroy my own moral code to get there, what's the point of achieving a goal? Won't that be a hollow victory, and one that I'd have to celebrate alone?  
  3. It's a costume party. What will your costume be if the theme is "under the sea?" a fish, in a bowl. It's a metaphor for my life.
  4. Have you ever wanted to release the lobsters from those tanks in restaurants and put them back in the sea? no, but I have wondered how people can stand to look at the live animal that they're about to devour. Particularly children. It's pretty barbaric.
  5. How funky is your chicken? not.
  6. How loose is your goose? less than the chicken referenced in #5, above
  7. What's your favorite animal out of these: emu, otter, duck-billed platypus, moose, skunk? moose
  8. Priest, rabbi, or other religious leader, a judge, or a sea captain to perform your wedding? none of the above
  9. Do you think that it's okay for people to write their own wedding vows? I think that if people can make a promise to each other on that level, the fucking words that they use to accomplish the promise are the LAST thing that anyone else should quibble about. Sheesh.
  10. Rank these as places to be married. 1 = best, 11 = worst.
    * Your house or yard
    * The beach
    * A park
    * Disneyland
    * A forest
    * A catering hall
    * Las Vegas
    * A church or temple
    * A courthouse
    * On a boat
    * On a space station:
    1. Park; 2. Church; 3. House/yard; 4. Beach; 5. Forest; 6. Catering hall; 7. Courthouse; 8. Vegas; 9. Boat; 11. tie, Disneyland/space station. Stupid.
  11. The Earth is doomed. A giant asteroid is headed our way. It will decimate the planet in 3.2 days. You and your family own a space pod and you have room for 7 people from the list below. Everyone else dies. Who do you pick?
    * Orlando Bloom
    * Justin Timberlake
    * Joan Jett
    * John Denver
    * Baby Eve (the first human clone)
    * Jennifer Lopez
    * Johnny Depp
    * George W Bush
    * David Bowie
    * Charleton Heston
    * Ralph Nader
    * Moby
    * Jeff Bridges
    * Kelly Osbourne
    * Frank Zappa
    * Bill Clinton
    * Britney Spears
    * The Pope
    * Eminem
    * Madonna:
    Bloom, Timberlake, Depp, Bowie, Clinton, Pope, Madonna. Definitely not my top choice for 7 people to repopulate the known universe, but I'll answer the question as given.
  12. If you could grant immortality to one person you know (can't be yourself) who would you give it to? it would have to be someone that I don't like at all. What an awful state of affairs that would be!
  13. If you could grant immortality to one person who you do not know personally but know of (writer, politician, etc) who would you give it to? there are a couple of politicians that I'd be glad to make immortal, if only so that they could serve out their entire sentence 
  14. Name a person you love. Name a person you admire. Name a friend. Name a relative. If you had to condemn one of them to death to save the lives of the others who would it be and why? ugh
  15. Would you rather be one of Santa's elves or a dentist? elf
  16. When you first meet people, what do you talk to them about? it depends how I meet them? What a dumb question.
  17. You have been invited to a party with any sports team in the world. Which one? the European Ryder cup, preferably from a few years ago
  18. Make up a superhero with really unhelpful powers: Run Away from Danger Man!
  19. A couple of days ago this guy won 14 million dollars and tried to donate 1 million to the Salvation Army. The Salvation Army turned the money down saying they didn't want dirty gambling money. Did they do the right thing? no. It would be one thing for a charity to refuse a donation of something inherently wrong or counter to their charter (here's a truckload of cigarettes for the choir to sell!). It's entirely another for them to turn down the donation of EXACTLY what they're asking for, because of who and where it came from. Sanctimonious bastards.
  20. If you had a spare million for charity work who would you donate it to? a library
  21. What's the craziest most shocking moment of rock and roll history that you can think of? the day the music died
  22. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic, but if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder? because battle has the imprimatur of the state, and murder of the given type has no rationale
  23. If you could kiss anyone in the world on midnight at New Year's Eve, who would be the lucky one?

    In other words:
    "My kisses are exclusive
    No one can afford them

    All the big thrills in life
    I have found them in you
    Nobody else can do
    The things that you do"
  24. What is your New Year's resolution? stop hanging out with people who don't believe in resolutions. They're a sign of something positive, and cynically rejecting them isn't clever, just grouchy.
  25. Should the U.S. focus more on the threat from N. Korea or Iraq? how about both?
  26. Would you ever have plastic surgery? would I ever!
  27. What is the most interesting premise for a reality TV show that you can think of? reality television is unwatchable
  28. Do you find yourself caring a lot about online people, even if you haven't met or spoken to them off of the computer? yep
  29. When you hear the song "Puff the Magic Dragon," what do you think? I remember my former spouse telling me it was about pot, and all my sheltered world-views collapsing at once
  30. How often do you stretch? not often enough. I'm a bundle of over-tight muscles and pinched nerves.
  31. Have you ever wished that you didn't have to be yourself? only every damned day
  32. Would you rather wear shoes full of earthworms or a hat full of spiders? the shoes, I guess, though the thought is revolting
  33. What are some things that for most people go unsaid? how they're really feeling, what they're really doing this weekend, or the exact nature of their current physical discomfort
  34. I said, 'Play me the best song in the world.' You put on: something by Alkaline Trio or Elbow, probably. Or "Throw Your Arms Around Me."
  35. What happened last year that you would like to forget? I figured out that I can cry hard enough that it makes me throw up
  36. What are you not able to do alone? install a light fixture
  37. Do you feel more connected to earth, air, fire, or water--and why? fire. Not sure why, but it's true.
  38. Which two words belong together and why: life, seawater, chocolate, blood, hair piece life and blood. One comes from the other.
  39. Who is the most thought-provoking person you know, and why? D. He's burrowed into my brain like a tick.
  40. If you could change one thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be and why? I would un-send a couple of text messages. Story of my damned life....
  41. What is the most bizarre thing you've ever done? probably that trip to Texas. That was weird, unprecedented, and potentially dangerous. Never going to try anything like that again!
[From the 5000-question meme; this is the second half of the fortieth part (questions 3851-3900). The title quotation is from Douglas MacArthur.]

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