this haze of blood must subside, the palace must collapse under the weight of the riches it conceals, the orgy must finish

1. Are you a fun lovin' criminal? some parts of that are more true than others
2. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try? logic
3. Mel Brooks or Woody Allen? Mel Brooks
4. What do you think of the movie Mystic Pizza? love it - it's one of my very favorites
5. Have you ever danced on a table, bar, or other platform? notoriously danced on a glass-topped coffee table at a house party during college. There was no drama related to the location of the dancing--or with the actual dancing, for that matter. But I'll never forget it.
6. Where was the most inconvenient place you ever threw up? my favorite bar (for a while) in college was just a couple of blocks away from the shitty house that I rented with three friends. Well, two friends and a dickhead. And more than once, on the l-o-o-o-o-n-g walk home from that bar, I had to stop and throw up...in the yards of the unfortunate neighbors along the way. I still cringe a little when I drive by, thinking back to those nights when I should have stopped a pitcher or two (and several shots) earlier.
7. When was the last time you were up all night? for all intents and purposes it's happened a couple of times in the last week
8. What question will you find the answer to today? "Can I fret about something interminably?" (answer: no, it will blurt out at some stupidly inconvenient and ill thought-out moment)
9. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank. water. Other options: love, art, bacon, velvet, sex, communication, or touch
10. What did you think of the movie 10 Things I Hate about You? love it.  Fun soundtrack, and surprisingly thoughtful. It's one that I enjoy watching every couple of years.
11. Ten Things I hate About You or Clueless? 10 Things, for sure. Clueless is all right but I don't usually go for movies that are that light.
12. What's the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking? robbery is a pretty big step. I'm not sure that you're ready.
13. What do you do only when you are upset? there are lots of things that I do when I'm upset, but I probably do them generally, too. Maybe I cry more, then? 
14. Can you imagine no love, pride, and deep-fried chicken? this seems like the sort of reference that Chris would have made, where I'd be vaguely confused and eventually he'd spill about what movie or song it came from--which was never the point
15. What do you think about flag burning? though I understand why it has been done, it is not something that I admire or respect because it is so aggressive and hateful, and has such ramifications that go beyond whatever insult is intended
16. Are you cuddly? strange, isn't it? I actually have feelings.
17. Who thinks you are offensive? today, it's the one person in the world that I'd least like to offend. But telling the truth, even when it's hard, is better than hearing a lie (or an omission) over and over, and feeling the bigger fool when it comes out in the wash.
18. Who deserves an apology from you? see #17, above. My timing really sucked, whether my intentions were good or not.
19. Who owes you an apology? see #17, above. I'm not a cat toy.
20. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? I don't go seeking out reptiles 
21. Did you/will you go to the prom? I did not. I wish that I had. It is an experience that is bigger than the night itself, that rises up again and again as a milestone through life--and my intended date would have been a lovely person with whom to have attended such an event. I think it's safe to say that, had we gone, my life would have been completely different.
22. Do you have intimacy issues? certainly, though I believe that's true for almost everyone. We humans are more or less flying by the seat of our pants, making our way through the muck as best we can.
23. Have you ever wanted to date twins? both of them? Ugh, no. I don't think that I've ever been interested in a person who was a twin? Not disinterested because of his twin-ness, but simple coincidence or fate.
24. What website should everyone check out? QI
25. Are pigeons flying rats? that sums it up, yeah
26. Are shrimp sea roaches? there's a clip about this from the TV show Leverage, the "Roshomon Job" episode, that pretty much makes me disintegrate with laughter
27. What was the last compliment you received? I've been on the giving, not the receiving, end lately
28. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer? just today...
29. Do you ever just stop and listen? that's who I am
30. Do you lie your way out of things? with certain people, under certain circumstances--with impunity. No regrets.
31. What only happens once in a lifetime? love.
32. Is this life just practice? God, I hope not!
33. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible? by definition, "conspiracy" theories are not credible
34. What gives you happy shivers? I'm writing this on Saturday, so there's a whole day yet between me and work. That's about as close as I get to happiness right now.
35. Do you have a new attitude? in a sense, I do. On an important level, I have emotionally left my job. What remains is to find a new gig to pay the bills and pass the time, and then to make all the breaks necessary to leave for reals. It's not a particularly good attitude (it's actually scary and maybe borderline insane) but perversely necessary for mental health.
36. Have you ever read at a poetry reading? at a couple of periods in my past, I've been a member of different writing groups. Reading work aloud was a necessary component of those experiences.
37. ...your own poem? yes, my own poems
38. Do you feel more like laughing or crying? at this moment it's all I can do not to cry
39. Who is brilliant? you want a list? Here's three: Galway Kinnell, Stephen Fry, and Guy Garvey
40. Who is dull? half the people with whom I work
41. Who just needs a little love? see #17, above. The most affection-repulsing person I've ever known, bar none. Not without reason, but frustrating nonetheless.
42. Do you prefer when things come with no assembly required, even if they are a bit more expensive? definitely. I've past the time when pulling home a box with 200 tiny components plus a proprietary hex key was "all part of the fun."
43. Start a sentence with the words what if: What If all this exercise I'm doing, and better-choice eating, actually had a concrete result, and I lost about 10 pounds (to start)?
44. Is life all fun and games? maybe when you're young enough to think you'll live past the pain
45. Should it be? nope. Nobody ever makes that promise - and if they do, they're a liar.
46. What is the highest number you can count to in your head? never tried (OCD is not one of my things)
47. What can you never turn away from? today is not the day for that question. I'm struggling with the inability to turn away from something away from which I ought to have turned.
48. What is your favorite flavor of coffee? sweetened
49. Do you ever think about time travel? only in an emotional sense
50. What does the number 49 remind you of? in a year, that's where I'll be (if I'm there in a year)
51. What's your favorite movie that involves dancing? Strictly Ballroom. Weird, campy, vrrrrry Australian, and enormously romantic, it is a film that I could watch once a month for the rest of my life and never get tired of it.
52. How many minutes (on average) does it take you to complete one section of this survey that is 50 questions long? the sections are a hundred questions long. If I haven't subdivided them, it takes between an hour and three depending on the topics and whether I'm doing something else at the same time (e.g. watching a movie or having a conversation). 90 minutes is probably average.
53. Multiply that number by 100 to find the approximate number of minutes you have spent on the entire survey: ...and there are 51 of them. 90 x 51 = 4590
54. Divide the number of minutes by 60 to find out approximately how many hours you have spent doing this survey: 4590 / 60 = 76.5
55. Divide the number of hours by 24 to find out about how many full days you have spent filling out this survey. (It took me about 8.5 full days to create it). 76.5 / 24 = 3.19
56. Do you wish you had that time back? if I hadn't been writing this, I'd have written something else. It's not 'this time back' for which I wish.
57. Are you going to miss this survey when it is gone? a ready supply of blog writing prompts has been handy, though this is not the most erudite or thoughtful survey. I've had to make more of it than it was, and as I've gone on I've deleted more and more of the repetitive or foolish questions. When I'm through it, I'll either go out and find something else or consider again folding up the blog for good and doing something else.
58. What are you going to fill your free time up with when this is over? I've hardly been setting aside 'my free time' to do this 
59. Did you learn anything about yourself by taking this? I learn about myself anytime I read, or write, or think, or talk, or really listen (to someone who has something to say). Even stupid questions can have thoughtful answers and bring forth something new and valuable.
60. Did you learn anything about me (age, gender, tastes, impression, etc)? one gains an impression but there's no knowing for sure--and really, who cares?
61. Has doing nothing ever felt so good as when you're doing this survey? that thought would never have crossed my mind
62. You are about to complete the survey. Are you proud? likewise, not a word I would have used
63. Name 3 things everyone should know about you: I'm different on the inside than I look on the outside; my eyes get lighter blue when I've got a migraine (usually); and I've no tolerance for shitty behavior so if you can't tell the truth, fuck off and leave me alone
64. Have they changed since you started this survey (that was question 2)? God only knows and I can't be bothered to look it up
65. What date did you start this survey? OK, that was maybe easier than I thought...
66. What date is it today? this will post approximately a year and eight months after I began
67. How many days is that in all? 633 days
68. Did you enjoy the start, middle, or end of the survey more? middle
69. Were you still interested by the end or did you just want to finish out of stubbornness? I wouldn't call it stubbornness but maybe tenacity
70. Do you have a favorite part of the survey? open-ended questions are so much better than closed-ended ones. "What did you think of [Z] movie?" is ridiculous for anyone who's never seen it, and "Write about [politics] or [war] or [religion]?" is the same thing over and over--my speech prof called that "junior high topics" and it's true, any middle schooler can debate black from white but when the bell rings, nothing has changed.
71. Would you finish the survey if it was upped to 10,000 questions? probably, though if it followed the pattern about a third of them would repeat previous ones anyway
72. Did you feel like the survey covered enough different topics or did it seem limited? see repeat note, above. There were moments of real insight dotted through a lot on the same topics.
73. Is there a question or topic you were waiting for that never came up? if there had been, I'd have written about it elsewhere
74. Did anyone read your survey all the way through? probably, though he's not likely to mention it. We talk once a week or so on other topics.
75. In a few minutes, when you finish, will you feel like you've accomplished something? more likely, I'll feel like I'm done writing and am ready to move on to something else for the day
76. Were you avoiding anything by doing this survey? not exactly
77. How would you describe taking this survey to someone who hasn't taken it? I just did. I'm texting with a friend and did exactly that.
78. Is there any topic or topics that this survey covered too often? specific movies, bands, etc.
79. Will you be glad it's over or bummed that it's gone? this last section is getting repetitive--so, yes
80. Did one question stand out on this survey as...
    ...the best or most memorable question? not at all
81. ...the worst question? there is no one specific one, but I've deleted a bunch that were just too stupid to answer
82. Are all endings really beginnings in disguise? no
83. Are you ever going to read over your survey answers? not from start to finish, no. Now and then I have occasion to search the blog for something specific (usually a quote or poem that I know has shown up here somewhere--but where??) and I'll get drawn into one or two of these.
84. If you retook this survey in one year, would most of your answers stay the same? some of them, probably most of them, would be essentially the same. The moody ones would change.
85. How did you find this survey to begin with? I had a source for survey stuff at the time
86. What made you decide to take it? I've had this blog for nearly 14 years. I try to write spontaneously, but that leads to hitting the same subjects too often. I post a lot of poetry, which drives some people off the deep end. I ramble on whatever subject has me interested at the time, but that's not interesting to others. Surveys, quizzes, whatever? Sometimes they offer something for everyone. That's enough to make them worthwhile. Sometimes.
87. Is this the best survey you've ever taken? that's a bold statement
88. Could you write 5,000 questions for a survey (I'd take it, if you did)? I'm sure that I could. I'm also sure that I wouldn't.
89. Name something more fun than filling out this survey: reading
90. Name something filling out this survey was more fun than: working
91. Should the survey have been more organized? For example, should each section have had it's own theme? it would surprise me if there were 51 discrete themes at play here
92. Were the questions...
    ...too crazy? I would not describe the questions as crazy...
93. ...too mundane? often, yes
94. ...too cryptic? hardly. Superficial more than cryptic.
95. What will you miss most about this survey? a ready source of writing prompts, as indicated above. I'm not personally attached to it as a presence in my life or anything.
96. If we met, would we likely become friends? no
97. Are we friends now? no
98. Are you getting excited? at the thought of having this over with? At the idea of not answering questions that are this trite? Prehaps.
99. Did you inspire or offer a question in this survey? doubtful
100. Is your heartbeat rising? yes, but that can be attributed directly to the migraine medication that I just swallowed
101. Would you go insane if the survey ended right here, before reaching 5,000? uh, no
102. I've asked you so many questions. What question would you like to ask me? no, thank you
103. Is there a subject that you love so much you wish all 5,000 questions had been about it (David Bowie, for instance)? 5000 questions about David Bowie? Really.
104. Are you shivering with anticipation? hardly
105. Are you about to party like we're at question 4,999? I'm about to go to lunch
106. Are you still the same person you were when you began this survey? I'm not the same person that I was yesterday. Don't attribute too much to this meme, though: that's human nature.

[From the 5000-question meme; this is the fifty-first part (questions 4901-5000). Thank God. The title quotation is by Gustave Flaubert, from Memoirs of a Madman.]