real, meaningful endeavors—the biggies in human existence—often require the sacrifice of others

    I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation while it was on the air. Became attached to the characters, memorized familiar lines, and let the show work its way into my unconscious. There are still times, years since the run ended, that it seems to be the best way to understand or explain what is happening in my life.
     Case in point: I've lately been faced with making an unhappy choice. Neither option is happy or pleasing, but one route may be less destructive or hurtful to someone else. I'm trying to do the right thing.
     The episode 'The Perfect Mate' (Season 5, Episode 21) entered my mind one day while I was working this over, and I can't seem to let go of the comparison. In that show, the Enterprise was tasked with delivering some cargo for a planet that had been locked in battle with another planet for ages. Through some surprisingly far-fetched melodrama, it was revealed that that "cargo" was actually a woman--an empathic metamorph named Kamala--whose sole purpose for existence was to be the mate for some bigwig from the opposing planet. Their union was supposed to bring the worlds together.
     Unfortunately (?), because of the way that she was brought out of her little egg, she "imprinted" (like a swan) on Captain Picard, rather than on the weird alien that she was made for. And since she was both empathic (capable of determining exactly what he wanted) and a metamorph (capable of being exactly that), Picard had a hell of a time resisting her.
     In the end, Kamala left with the alien weirdo. Why? Because she loved Picard, and they were soulmates. He knew that his duty was to the Enterprise and to Star Fleet, and if he'd hooked up with her, he would have violated the Prime Directive, botched the mission of brokering peace for these two planets, and also in essence destroyed her life (because she had a mission and he would have circumvented it for his own needs). He wanted her (clearly) and he knew that she was perfect for him...but he wanted what was right for her. And she wanted him, and she loved him, but she knew that what was right for him was for her to go. So, in service of that, they remained apart.
     "I am for you"--that is the part of the script that won't seem to leave my head. What does it mean to me? That love is what you can do for someone else, not just what you can do with them.

[the title quotation is by Chris in the Morning, from Northern Exposure 'Northern Lights']