a lot of times you get credit for stuff in your movie that you didn’t intend to be there

In this group, we have hilarious, sweet, inexplicable, brilliant, action-packed, offensive, thrilling, forgettable, and a couple that are as dumb as shit. Watch with care, people!

Central Intelligence (2016) - "After he reconnects with an awkward pal from high school through Facebook, a mild-mannered accountant is lured into the world of international espionage."
I watched it because: I love Dwayne Johnson, and wanted a funny movie that wouldn't make me think too hard.
story: 3/5
acting: 4/5
intangibles: 5/5--it has its lame moments, but overall this movie is very funny and just what I was looking for. The extras made me laugh just as hard as the film, too.
overall: 4/5

Royal Wedding (1951) - "A brother and sister dance act encounter challenges and romance when booked in London during the Royal Wedding."
I watched it because: I usually like dance movies, Fred Astaire is incredibly smooth, I wanted to see how closely this tied into the actual royal wedding (i.e. that of Princess Elizabeth and Philip Mountbattan, Duke of Edinburgh, in 1947), and it seemed like some good light-hearted fare.
story: 3/5
acting: 3/5--standout: Peter Lawford (Lord John Brindale)
intangibles: 5/5--Astaire's "dance on the walls and ceiling" routine in this film is legendary, and absolutely makes it worth seeing at least once. There is also a routine with a monkey that must have been terribly hard to choreograph!
Academy Award nominated (Best music, original song)
overall: 3.667/5

Dying of the Light (2014) - "When a devastating illness threatens to end Evan Lake's career in the C.I.A., he goes rogue to hunt down a terrorist who tortured him during a mission gone awry years ago."
I watched it because: some of Nicolas Cage's movies are really, really good! Most of them are crap, but when you find one like Moonstruck...it makes you want to sort through the rest, like a big bag of popcorn, to find the delicious buttery bits (and toss the burnt hulls into the trash).
story: 1.5/5
acting: 2.5/5--standout: Anton Yelchin (Milton Schultz)
intangibles: 2/5--This is a really, really strange film. The writing is terrible, Cage mailed in his performance in a leaky bag, and the overwhelming agenda knocks you on your butt within the first half hour. Yelchin is earnest and sweet as the unbelievable Schultz, and his performance is bittersweet to watch after his death.
overall: 2/5

The Reader (2008) - "Post-WWII Germany: Nearly a decade after his affair with an older woman came to a mysterious end, law student Michael Berg re-encounters his former lover as she defends herself in a war-crime trial."
I watched it because: I stumbled on a YouTube clip of the Academy Award acceptance speech for Best Actress from 2008 and was reminded how much I liked this film when it first came out.
story: 4.5/5
acting: 5/5--standout: all 3 of the leads are stellar, but this time around I was struck by the performance of David Kross as "young Michael Berg."
intangibles: 5/5--Ralph Fiennes' Michael Berg is so nuanced and deep. An acting class in one role. And the camera work is perfection.
Academy Award winner (Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role—Kate Winslet) and nominated (Best Cinematography; Best Adapted Screenplay; Best Director; Best Picture)
overall: 4.833/5

Die Hard (1988) - "An NYPD officer tries to save his wife and several others taken hostage by German terrorists during a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles."
I watched it because: I'm trying to see a few more comedy/normal/blockbuster sorts of movies now and then, to cut down on the high ratio of indie/inexplicable/subtitled/martial arts/heavy German history sorts of stuff. This series popped up in Amazon recommendations (and trust me, nobody wants to see lots of what appears there...) so I snatched it.
story: 5/5
acting: 3.5/5--standout: Bruce Willis is terrific here as reluctant hero John McClane. I also loved Reginald VelJohnson as Sgt. Al Powell; it would have been easy for Al to be a cheese, forgettable character, but the development of the role and of the relationship between the men was very well done. I did not love Alan Rickman's performance as Hans Gruber, which was cartoonish at times.
intangibles: 5/5--I watched this (as I almost always watch movies) while working out, half on the treadmill and half on the bike. It's a pretty long movie (1:32), but I barely noticed the time was passing--and I forgot to adjust my speed downward as I usually do because I was so into it. My calorie usage that night was phenomenal!
Academy Award nominated (Best Sound; Best Film Editing; Best Effects—Sound Effects Editing; Best Effects—Visual Effects)
overall: 4.5/5

Boomerang (1992) - "A successful executive and womanizer finds his lifestyle choices have turned back on him when his new female boss turns out to be an even bigger deviant than he is."
I watched it because: I think I saw reference to the Boys II Men song "End of the Road" on the soundtrack? Borrowed it from the library, anyway, which is a very good thing.
story: 0/5. HORRIBLE.
acting: 1/5--standout: Chris Rock (Bony T)--if you've seen the movie, that ought to say it all
intangibles: 1/5--this movie ranks among the worst I've ever seen. Eddie Murphy's Marcus is a misogynistic, male-slut asshole. He "falls in love" with Robin Givens' Jacqueline, whereupon he begins to recognize that she is a misogynistic slut bitch. At that point, he becomes "more female," i.e. a weepy, indecisive, needy, pathetic, moody weenie. Eventually, "with the love of a good woman" (Halle Berry's Angela) he gets his shit together. Sort of. It's incredibly obnoxious, racist, and offensive on so many levels that I'm amazed that I watched it all the way through, much less refrained from snapping it over my knee. This film is garbage.

overall: .667/5

To Hell and Back (1955) - "The true WWII story of Audie Murphy, the most decorated soldier in U.S. history. Based on the autobiography of Audie Murphy who stars as himself in the film."
I watched it because: it's been ages since I've seen it, and Second World War movies are generally pretty well done.
story: 5/5
acting: 3/5
intangibles: 5/5--action-packed! A little dangerous to watch while working out; I kept ducking (when the soldiers did not duck, to their eventual demise) and forgetting what I was doing.

overall: 4.333/5

Morning Glory (2010) - "An upstart television producer accepts the challenge of reviving a struggling morning show program with warring co-hosts."
I watched it because: it's another in the (attempt) to push more lighthearted fare. Like eating more veggies.
story: 2/5
acting: 2/5--standout: John Pankow (Lenny Bergman)
intangibles: 3/5--the setting is lovely, but that doesn't make up for how forgettable this movie is. There is zero dramatic tension, the acting is stilted, and there is no chemistry. Feh.
overall: 2.333/5

The Brothers O'Toole (1973) - "The brothers, a couple of ne'er-do-wells, turn a sleepy mining town upside-down in their search for quick riches."
I watched it because: it's a family thing. My entire family is nuts about John Astin, for reasons that I can neither understand nor explain. This film may be the epitome of that veneration.
story: 1/5--it's just. so. dumb.
acting: 1/5
intangibles: 1/5--it's like a TV movie combined with one of those weird Disney 1970s features, but played out on mescaline+speed+maybe a bale or two of very high-quality weed.
overall: 1/5

[the title quotation is by Spike Lee]