10.14.2019

people never forget two things, their first love and the money they wasted watching a bad movie

American History X (1998) - "A former neo-nazi skinhead tries to prevent his younger brother from going down the same wrong path that he did."
I watched it because: it's one of those iconic films that seems important to see, and I've liked Edward Norton in what I've seen so far.
story: 5/5--this is pure storytelling. I loathe the phrase "ripped from the headlines," but this movie watches like it's real life, not fiction. That's brilliant.
visuals: 4/5--not always easy to watch, every element has its place and there's a place for every element.
acting: 4.5/5--standout: besides Norton's outstanding performance as Derek Vinyard, Jennifer Lien was wonderful (as his sister Davina)
intangibles: 4.5/5--This film is enormously disturbing, yet sweet and strangely hopeful, and I am so glad that I watched it.
Academy Award nominee: Best Actor in a Leading Role--Edward Norton
overall: 4.5/5

Moulin Rouge! (2001) - "A poet falls for a beautiful courtesan whom a jealous duke covets."
I watched it because: It's one of the three films in the Red Curtain Trilogy by Bas Luhrmann, the first of which--Strictly Ballroom--is among my very favorites of all time.
Academy Award winner:
• Best Costume Design
• Best Art Direction--Art Direction
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Picture
• Best Actress--Nicole Kidman
• Best Film Editing
• Best Cinematography
• Best Makeup
• Best Sound
AFI's 25 Greatest Movie Musicals: #25
overall: 0/5--I pulled it out and threw it away after about 20 minutes. I haven't had such a viscerally negative reaction to a film since 2012's total horseshit black & white adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing. This movie is a prime example of why "critically acclaimed" and "popular" mean absolutely zero to me, and why I watch (and love) so many movies that no one has ever heard of.

No Way Out (1987) - "A coverup and witchhunt occur after a politician
accidentally kills his mistress."
I watched it because: I needed something to clear the taste of Moulin Rouge! out of my system, and a thriller starring Kevin Costner and Gene Hackman sounded perfect.
story: 3.5/5--kinda loopy, but they manage to pull it back together in the end
visuals: 3.5/5--nothing too amazing except the completely implausible submarine rescue and [spoiler alert] Sean Young getting flung to her death from a balcony, saving us from another ill-fitting evening gown
acting: 4/5--standout: Costner is always a winner, and Will Patton as the delightfully slimy Scott Pritchard
intangibles: 3.5/5--Costner seems ambivalent about the romantic aspects of this film, but much more committed to the thriller/intrigue stuff. Hackman's a charismatic bad guy. It's a good movie.
overall: 3.625/5

Speed (1994) - "A young police officer must prevent a bomb exploding aboard a city bus by keeping its speed above 50 mph."
I watched it because: I'd never seen it. Sandra Bullock is always solid, and Keanu Reeves holds a secret place in my heart.
story: 2/5--seriously. 
visuals: 4/5--undeniably engrossing. The scenes where they're looking at/through the bottom of the bus nearly made me hurl.
acting: 3.5/5
intangibles: 3.5/5--I didn't really expect to like it, but I was glued to it from start to finish.
Academy Award winner:
• Best Sound
• Best Effects, Sound Effects Editing
Academy Award nominee: Best Film Editing
overall: 3.25/5

The Painted Veil (2006) - "A British medical doctor fights a cholera epidemic in a small Chinese village, while being trapped at home in a loveless marriage to an unfaithful wife."
I watched it because: it was a preview on something that I watched recently.
story: 5/5--based on a W. Somerset Maugham novel, this is a tragic love story, and it's a travelog to a vastly different time, place, and morality.
visuals: 4.5/5--absolutely stunning. If I hadn't known it was filmed on location in China, I would have thought it was unreal: all CGI.
acting: 5/5--standout: Edward Norton is phenomenal, again. Toby Jones' Waddington is a curious, wonderful distraction. Anthony Chau-Sang Wong is great as the nuanced Colonel Yu.
intangibles: 4/5
overall: 4.625/5

White Heat (1949) - "A psychopathic criminal with a mother complex makes a daring break from prison and leads his old gang in a chemical plant payroll heist. Shortly after the plan takes place, events take a crazy turn."
I watched it because: it's part of my ongoing effort to include more classics in the mix.
story: 2/5--it took a lot for me to even try to get through this. There was a train? And then a cabin? And then a bunch of cars that all looked the same? And a prison??
visuals: 3/5
acting: 3/5--standout: John Archer as Philip Evans
intangibles: 2/5
Academy Award nominee: Best Writing, Motion Picture Story
overall: 2.5/5

How Do You Know (2010) - "After being cut from the U.S.A. softball team and feeling a bit past her prime, Lisa finds herself evaluating her life and in the middle of a love triangle, as a corporate guy in crisis competes with her current, baseball-playing beau."
I watched it because: I wanted something funny after the questionable results of White Heat, and this is an all-star cast. Should be good, right?
story: 2.5/5--to get into the story, you have to buy Reese Witherspoon as a professional softball player (oh come on) and the very hapless Paul Rudd as a CEO. And Owen Wilson as a professional baseball player (though he's never shown doing anything remotely athletic, which is telling).

visuals: 3/5--pretty people being pretty
acting: 3/5--standout: Jack Nicholson, in the surprising but perhaps satisfyingly scene-chomping role of Charles
intangibles: 3.5/5--there were some truly funny bits (Wilson's sleaze-ball character has a closet stocked with swag for the one-nighter girls he takes home, and Paul Rudd is just generally too adorable to be offensive)
overall: 3/5

The Pirate {a.k.a. God Loves Caviar} (a.k.a. O Theos agapaei to haviari} (2012) - "It is based on the true story of Greek pirate turned businessman Ioannis Varvakis, who made his fortune selling caviar in Russia and all over the world. Varvakis strives all his life for freedom for himself and then for his country, only to find that freedom cannot be won until it is shared."
I watched it because: I'm still in that Sebastian Koch phase....
story: 2/5--SO WEIRD. Like, 90% weirder than the weirdest movie I watch in the typical week. Bizarrely, perplexingly strange. Confusing, wandering ... weird.
visuals: 3/5--filmed on location in Greece and Russia, it is lavish and spectacular. There's a lot of rich costuming and some amazing shots of the sea. Unfortunately, there are also some cardboard sets whose edges show at just the wrong time, so it appears haphazard and careless.
acting: 2/5--in a pool of mediocrity, there is one standout: Evgeniy Stychkin (Ivan) is astoundingly good.
intangibles: 1.5/5--I wanted to like it. I wanted to have some reason for having watched it in the first place. But it's just. So. WEIRD.
overall: 2.125/5

Con Air (1997) - "Newly paroled ex-con and former U.S. Ranger Cameron Poe finds himself trapped in a prisoner transport plane when the passengers seize control."
I watched it because: The Pirate was godawful, and I wanted to see something I knew I'd like. I'd watched this before, but it's been a while. It was just right to clear my movie-watching head.
story: 3.5/5--coincidences run high here
visuals: 4/5
acting: 4/5--standout: nobody does cheerfully malevolent like John Malkovich (Cyrus the Virus), and Steve Buscemi's Garland Greene is a study in small acting
intangibles: 3/5--it's really hard for me to take John Cusack seriously in an action role, since my introduction to him was in all of those late-80s long-bangs angsty chick flicks. That being said, buddying him with the exuberant Nicolas Cage is pretty fun.
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Sound
• Best Music, Original Song
overall: 3.625/5

The Italian Job (1969) - "Comic caper movie about a plan to steal a gold shipment from the streets of Turin by creating a traffic jam."
I watched it because: I've seen the remake fairly recently, and wanted to remind myself of the differences between that and the original.
story: 3.5/5--silly and complex
visuals: 4.5/5--filmed on location in England and Italy
acting: 3/5--This is not Michael Caine's best film; his character (Charlie Croker) is a hound dog with a hair-trigger temper, which can make him hard to watch. Happily, there is a standout: Tony Beckley as Camp Freddie.
intangibles: 3/5--the driving is wonderful (as are the cars themselves), and the final scene is priceless
overall: 3.5/5

Draft Day (2014) - "At the NFL Draft, General Manager Sonny Weaver has the opportunity to rebuild his team when he trades for the number one pick. He must decide what he's willing to sacrifice on a life-changing day for a few hundred young men with NFL dreams."
I watched it because: this movie is a favorite of one of my friends, who finds it borderline insane that I've never seen it. I do love Kevin Costner, so my reluctance to watch it was only so much stubbornness.
story: 4.5/5--very well done
visuals: 4/5
acting: 4/5--standout: Griffin Newman (Rick the Intern) and Arian Foster (Ray Jennings)
intangibles: 4.5/5--given that I've loved all of Kevin Costner's other sports films, it's no surprise that I adored this. Now I want to go back and see the others again, too....
overall: 4.25/5

The War Wagon (1967) - "The story of a man who was shot, robbed and imprisoned who returns to steal a large gold shipment from the man who wronged him. The gold is transported in an armored stage coach, the War Wagon."
I watched it because: I wanted something kind of quiet and mindless in the background while dealing with some household chores.
story: 3/5
visuals: 3.5/5
acting: 3/5--standout: Kirk Douglas, in what may be the first role of his that I've ever seen (Lomax). His line about how he got the cleft in his chin is outstanding.
intangibles: 3/5
overall: 3.125/5

[the title quotation is by Amit Kalantri]

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