the monsters are in your own head

"Current"
                    (as is current on the day I draft this, which is not the day it will post)

Read: 

• I am plodding through Prostitute Laundry by 'Charlotte Shane'. At the rate of maybe 5-10 pages a day, it will take at least another month to finish it, likely two. And that is OK. Not badly written, it is an inordinately frustrating piece of work - and I cannot wait to review it.

• Still working my way through The Best American Poetry 2013.  I always like to read good poetry slowly, and this is good stuff.

• my journal dated 08/26/2007-05/11/2008, which includes The Tequila Birthday, Brian-from-Madtown, and getting hit by the UPS truck - ooof!

Listen:

• the refrigerator is running, which is incredibly noisy and (again) makes me fear that buying new kitchen appliances will need to happen sooner than I can afford. There are intermittent problems with a burner on the stove running hot, and the dishwasher is also very loud and is probably grossly inefficient. Oh, and the fan/microwave has some issues, too. F#&%

Love: 

• my regular doctor has returned. I chose him when I first moved back here, and saw him until he moved practice about 18 months ago. He had a non-compete clause in his contract (naturally) and so was limited to practice in the next state over. That clause has run out, so he has moved his practice back here - and I have defected from where I had been going, to where he works now. He is a D.O., which has always been my choice for any doctor that I see regularly. He is also very much like me, in certain ineffable ways. I like him very much and am grateful that he is back.

Thought:

Instagram has 90% more ads than followed content, and Facebook roughly 50/50. If they offered a no-ads subscription option, I wonder how many users would choose it?

Feeling:

shadow of a migraine headache, slightly stiff neck, cranky lower back. Too much hard sleep the last few days.

Celebration:

Dad's birthday today. Growing up, I always felt like the 4th of July was "for" him. Mother's and Father's day was never that big a deal because my parents' birthdays are right around this time, and the birthdays were what we celebrated. It bothers me not to be able to go hang out with them, eat something that is out of the usual realm, and watch a movie with Dad today.

Gratitude:

pharmacology

Weather:

82 degrees at 10:13 AM, feels like 89, humidity 79%, wind 5 mph from the ENE, slight possibility of thunderstorms this afternoon

Enjoyment:

lying on one of my couches, reclined almost fully, typing on the laptop, occasionally dozing, drinking cranberry blood orange tea, listening to supper (chicken for tacos) bubbling in the crockpot and birds chirping madly from the backyard

Quote on my mind: 

"Guilt is the source of sorrows, the avenging fiend that follows behind us with whips and stings."

[Nicholas Rowe]

[adapted from here; the title quotation is by Paula Cole]