12.24.2020

inspect my secret bank account of joy!

Everything that ever happened to me 
is just hanging—crushed 
and sparkling—in the air, 
waiting to happen to you. 
Everything that ever happened to me 
happened to somebody else first. 
I would give you an example 
but they are all invisible. 
Or off gallivanting around the globe. 
Not here when I need them 
now that i need them 
if I ever did which I doubt. 
Being particular has its problems. 
In particular there is a rift through everything. 
There is a rift running the length of Iceland 
and so a rift runs through every family 
and between families a feud. 
It's called a saga. Rifts and sagas 
fill the air, and beautiful old women 
sing of them, so the air is filled with 
music and the smell of berries and apples 
and shouting when a gun goes off 
and crying in closed rooms. 
Faces, who needs them? 
Eating the blood of oranges 
I in my alcove could use one. 
Abbas and ammas! 
come out of your huts, travel 
halfway around the world, 
inspect my secret bank account of joy! 
My face is a jar of honey 
you can look through, 
you can see everything 
is muted, so terribly muted, 
who could ever speak of it, 
sealed and held up for all? 

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