I saw you, and I wanted to be close to you. I wanted you to let me in

from 87 Self-Reflection Questions for Introspection 

 

• What’s surprised you the most about your life?    

    that the water has never settled

• What can you learn from your biggest mistakes? 

    there are different lessons from different mistakes.

• I feel most energized when . . . 

    I am sleeping on my natural cycle (skewed toward later to bed and later to rise), eating better, getting loads of exercise, spending time with the few people in the world who energize rather than draining me, writing, reading, and being otherwise entertained (e.g. movies or sports), and challenged

• Write a list of questions to which you urgently need answers:

    • Should I sell the house now?

    • If I do sell the house now, should I buy a house or a condo?

    • If I sell and don't buy, should I rent a house or a condo?

    • Would it be smarter to focus on [2+] part-time jobs rather than one FT job?

    • How can I balance the need to be good to myself with the strong desire to streamline the stuff I live with? Some things are good; too many things are too much - where is the line?

    • Quarantine Question: what does careful leave off, and lazy begin?

    • How much should I put into my 401(k) this year, how much into my HSA, or should I be straight-up banking a reserve, just in case?

• Make a list of things that inspire you—books, websites, people, paintings, stores, stars in the sky... 

    • Mark Rothko

    • writing in my journal

    • music

    • my favorite books

    • psychology

    • Sundance Catalog, which is the Sears Catalog of my adulthood; I could spend significantly more money than I make buying jewelry, clothes, and house stuff from there. When I need to escape my life for a while, I look at the catalog (paper or online) and imagine a different existence, one where buying a ring or a jacket or a leather chair spontaneously wouldn't bankrupt me.  

    • my muse - a concept which makes me snort a little

• What’s one topic you need to learn more about to help you live a more fulfilling life?

    investing

• I feel happiest in my skin when . . . 

    ... my skin is within contact distance of someone I love

• Make a list of everything you’d like to say no to: 

    • going to work on Monday—any Monday

    • eating vegetables

    • going to bed early

    • paying my bills

    • answering the doorbell—ever

• Make a list of everything you’d like to say yes to: 

    • leaping

• Write the words you need to hear: 

        "You are the one."

• Which of your talents or skills gives you the greatest sense of pride or satisfaction? 

    writing and photography

• What are your five greatest strengths? 

    • attention to detail

    • tenacity

    • research

    • listening

    • observation

• What do you feel are your two biggest weaknesses? 

    • being a smartass

    • my short-term memory is fried (thanks, Clint)

• What are ten things that are really important to you? 

    • phone

    • journal

    • fish ball

    • packet of mementos from Chris

    • camera    

    • MA thesis

    • old copy of The Brothers K

    • vehicle

    • photographs

    • Eddie

• How is the “public you” different from the “private you”? 

    there is no way to completely explain that, except to say that they are vastly different. Hidden depths.

• What three things are you most proud of in your life to date? 

    • passing the bar and being licensed

    • becoming relatively handy with tools

    • paying off my student loans and my last car early

• What is something that represents you (e.g. song, animal, flower, poem, symbol, jewelry, etc.)? Why? 

    picture a woman, sitting (with somewhat curved posture) on a squishy couch. She has a book in her lap and is reading intently. Right hand is on the book, ready to turn the page. Left hand is active - twirling her ponytail, rubbing her neck, gently pulling or twisting her lower lip. You make a sound and she looks up and toward you, but it takes a moment for her focus to settle; her mind has been so connected to her reading that it takes a little while to get back. In that brief period, you take a photograph, catching her between those two worlds.

    That photo represents me.

• What three things would you like to change most about yourself? 

    • depression & anxiety

    • metabolism

    • poker face

• List three things that you are. 

    • exhausted

    • sanguine

    • chilly
• I struggle when . . . 

    someone I love won't let me contribute. When I'm stifled.

• I do my best when . . . 

    I feel welcome, affection, and needed 

[from here; the title quotation is by Becca Fitzpatrick, from Finale]