3.04.2021

to subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill

from 225 Conversation Starters 
 
61. What are three fun facts about yourself? 
    • there are 3 rooms in my house that I almost never enter
    • since I broke it last year, my left pinkie will not bend unless I consciously try to make it so
    • though I loved it as a child, I do not recall the last time I ate mustard at home
62. What are you most passionate about? 
    passion, great shoes, and meaning
63. What are you reading right now? 
64. What bad habits do you wish you could stop? 
    responding to text or email messages immediately, when they are from someone who does not do the same for me
65. What book had a big influence on you?    
    A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.
66. What bores you? 
   riding an exercise bike
68. What did you think was the most challenging part of being a kid? 
    waiting. Waiting to be old enough to do fun things, like riding my bike without training wheels or play tennis in the road or go to school. Waiting to be 5 or 10 or 15 or 17. Waiting to be old enough to stay home (with my siblings) without a babysitter. Waiting to be old enough to stay home alone. Waiting to be trusted with power tools, the car, the house for a weekend. Always waiting.
69. What does someone do that comforts you the most? 
    I've been getting cards in the mail lately from some library friends. We had not fallen out of touch, but this is a new level of contact—and it is a comfort. It is undeniably pleasurable to get real mail from someone I care about.
70. What does someone do that makes you smile? 
    my dad uses hilarious gifs and stickers when he texts. They are ... well, they remind me of a non-native English speaker, I guess, and I always find them terribly sweet and funny.
71. What do you consider most romantic? 
    it's not one obvious thing—it depends upon the chemistry of a couple. I love getting cards, but if it's a chore to give them, then it's not a joy to receive them. I like to give lots of silly presents, often for no reason at all, but if it's not something that the other person enjoys, then it's not romantic. It just depends on the people.
72. What do you like most about one of your friends? 
    my friend Sara is self-deprecating, but she can accept sincere compliments and gratitude
73. What do you like to cook the most? 
    Puerto Rican chicken fricassee
74. What do you most like about yourself? 
    I try to give thoughtful, personal presents
75. What do you think are the best traits for a person to have? 
    passion, curiosity, and openness
77. What do you think people need to know about each other before they get married? 
    how you behave when you're broke, when you're flush, when you're scared, when you're proud, when you're turned on, when you're sick, and when you're silly
78. What drink do you suggest someone try? 
    almost anything with Chambord is good, if you like fairly sweet drinks; try it with soda for the driest choice
79. What fun plans do you have for the weekend? 
    Saturday: driving out to the farm, watering plants, gathering mail, snatching more music, trying to find some Amish postcards on the way back. Possibly ordering flooring for the kitchen, dining room and fireplace room. Probably working for a few hours (hopefully no more than 4).
    Sunday: prehaps unloading my plant room to get the guest bed out for a buyer. Laundry and some cleaning. Begging big brother to come by and help me sort out the NordicTrack. Sweeping salt and sand out of the garage. Cleaning the cat carrier. Probably working for a few hours (hopefully less than 8).
80. What gives you butterflies? 
    flying
81. What has been the lowest point of your life? 
    Chris' death
82. What hurts your feelings?
    insults of my ability at work, brush-offs of sincere compliments, deliberate unkindness
83. What instrument would you like to play? 
    drums
84. What is a significant event that has changed you? 
    completing my M.A. after an almost 10-year delay—and with law school in between coursework and finishing my thesis. I conceptualized my personality in different ways before and after that, realizing that I can do more than I had ever even imagined before.
85. What is one thing you can’t live without? 
    caffeine
86. What is one thing you should never say at a wedding? 
    "I give it a year"
87. What is something you wish you could do everyday? 
    walk in the sun
88. What is something you’ve always wanted to do, but are scared to? 
    go into intensive therapy
89. What are the worst and best traits you inherited from your ancestors?
    worst: painful shyness and lack of confidence
    best: unique ways of thinking through problems
90. What is the best part about taking a selfie? 
    I've never figured that out. Not sure if my arms are too short or the tendonitis in my thumbs makes me bad at it, but I can't quite get the angles right. 
 
[from here; the title quotation is by Sun Tzu, from The Art of War]

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