from This or that
body wash
Big wedding or small wedding?
small
Brand name or generic?
brand
Cash or credit?
cash
Clutter in the closet or clutter under the bed?
no clutter
Concert or sports game?
Dragons or unicorns?
ugh neither
Drive to school or take the bus?
drive
Driving fast or driving slow?
fast
Eggs or pancakes?
pancakes
Fainting or spit take?
faint
Football or soccer?
football
Geometry or algebra?
geometry
Growth or security?
growth
Hero or antihero?
antihero
Messy desk or clean desk?
"messy"
Painful truth or comforting lie?
there is no such thing as a comforting lie
Pizza party or pool party?
neither
Play or standup show?
play
Show or tell?
tell
Smartest person in the world or richest person in the world?
feh—richest, please
Social media message or text message?
text, always
Speed or accuracy?
accuracy
Tattoos or piercings?
tattoos
Train or airplane?
plane
Volcano or mountain?
mountain
Win a race or win a debate?
debate
Winning the lottery or finding your soulmate?
I'll take the lottery this time.
Zombies or vampires?
vampires
[from here; the title quotation is by Sherwood Smith, from Firebirds]
“Messy”
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