you *know* how much I hate mayonnaise

Here is a set of weirdo movies, even for me. Historical romance, teen rom-com, buddy movie, and legal thriller. Guess which one I liked the best?

Impromptu (1991) - "1830s Paris. Novelist George Sand (Judy Davis), who is known to be writing her memoirs, is causing a sensation in the literary scene not only for the quality of her writing, but because of her extreme views and manners, including blurring the lines between the sexes - she generally wearing men's clothes - and her non-belief in the sanctity of marriage after having gone through the institution once before, now preferring sexual liaisons outside of her own wedlock, with the marital status of her lovers of no concern to her. She is just coming to the end of a turbulent affair with Jean Pierre Félicien Mallefille (Georges Corraface), who she is now trying to avoid in his continual pursuit of her. Despite thinking it will be a bore because of their insufferable hostess, she invites herself to a weekend gathering of some of France's greatest artistic and creative minds - many who are attending solely for a weekend of free food - at the country estate of the Duke (Anton Rodgers) and Duchess D'Antan (Dame Emma Thompson) in Angers. George's want to attend is largely to get away from Mallefille, but also to meet visiting Polish composer Frédéric Chopin (Hugh Grant), who is an acquaintance of her cohabiting friends, Hungarian pianist Franz Liszt (Julian Sands) and Countess Marie D'Agoult (Bernadette Peters). Marie largely acts as George's confidante. George has fallen in love with Chopin through his music, not even yet having met the man. George spends the weekend and beyond pursuing the sensitive and somewhat sickly Chopin, her conquest of him which may be difficult due to their fundamental differences. That conquest is made even more difficult by other guests of the Duke and Duchess: Mallefille; writer Alfred De Musset (Mandy Patinkin), another of George's former lovers; two hellions also known as her adolescent children, onto who she has passed her relaxed views of the world; and Marie, who George does not know wants to have a sexual liaison with Chopin behind Liszt's back."
source: streamed on Amazon Prime   
I watched it because: I was in the mood for something romantic
IMDB: 6.8/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 76% Audience: 71%
my IMDB: 5/10

notable quote: “I used to think I'd die of suffocation when I was married. Now it's my freedom that's killing me.”

MPAA rating: PG-13

directed by: James Lapine

my notes: extremely loosely based on the real story of some of these famous folk. Not a terrible idea, but a bad result. Judy Davis is unbelievable (and unlikeable) as George Sand. Bernadette Peters is especially awful as the Countess.

overall: not recommended

Overnight Delivery (1988) - "College student Wyatt (Paul Rudd) is convinced that his hometown girlfriend, Kimberly (Christine Taylor), is cheating on him. Disconsolate, at a strip club, he nonetheless tries to defend the honor of Ivy (Reese Witherspoon), one of the dancers, who befriends him for his gesture. Ivy convinces Wyatt that he should send Kimberly a vicious breakup letter, which he does—by express mail. When he has second thoughts, he and Ivy hit the road to retrieve the note before it reaches its destination."
source: I borrowed the DVD from my parents' collection
I watched it because: the leads are generally good
IMDB: 6.0/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 43% Audience: 52%
my IMDB: 4/10

notable quote: "Dear God, I promise I'll never send anything overnight delivery again."

MPAA rating: PG-13 

directed by: Jason Bloom

my notes: dumb, far-fetched, and entertaining

overall: marginally recommended

The Whole Nine Yards (2000) - "Jimmy 'The Tulip' Tudeski (Bruce Willis), a mob hitman-turned-informant, ratted on the mob and put his life in jeopardy. Now he has moved to suburban Montreal, ostensibly to make a new start. His next-door neighbor is mild-mannered, unhappily married dentist Nick 'Oz' Oseransk (Matthew Perry). Nick recognizes Jimmy from the newspaper stories about his mob testimony, and that's when Nick's simple, boring world turns upside down."
source: I borrowed the DVD from my parents' collection
I watched it because: the world is in a Bruce Willis trance, and I am not immune
IMDB: 6.7/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 43% Audience: 64%
my IMDB: 6/10

notable quote: "I'm gonna keep the coke and the fries but I'm gonna send this burger back. If you put any mayonnaise on it, I'm gonna come over to your house, chop your legs off, set your house on fire, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out of your house. Okay? Pierre?"

MPAA rating: R

directed by: Jonathan Lynn

my notes: genuinely funny, and not like every other movie ever made. Definitely worth seeing!

overall: recommended

The Pelican Brief (1993) - "Taut thriller about a young law student whose legal brief about the assassination of two Supreme Court justices causes her to be targeted by killers. She realizes just how accurate her accusations have been when her lover and mentor is murdered. Forced to go on the run in New Orleans, she is aided by a journalist who helps her unravel a conspiracy involving senior government figures."

source: I borrowed the DVD from my parents' collection
I watched it because: it's a law student movie; how could I resist?
IMDB: 6.6/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 54% Audience: 61%
my IMDB: 4/10

notable quote: "So you're the little lady who started this great brouhaha."

MPAA rating: PG-13

directed by: Alan J. Pakula

my notes: un. be. liev. able. 

overall: recommended with strong reservations

[the title quotation is from The Whole Nine Yards]