I live, but not inside myself,
with only the hope
to die, because I die not.
I live without being in me
and this is how I wait,
dying because I die not
No, because I do not live yet
and without God I cannot live
But without him and without me,
this life, what will it be?
A thousand deaths I’ll feel
while I wait for my life,
dying because I do not die
Whatever life I live
is imaginary living,
so I continue dying like this
until I meld in You, my life.
Listen to me God, hear,
I don’t want this life;
always dying because I cannot die
Since you won’t come to me,
what life can I adhere to,
instead suffer a death
most mortals never know.
Pity, pity myself
because I’m stuck with this fate
of dying because I can’t die.
Even a fish out of water
is more at peace
that in the death he suffers
he finally pays death off.
But what kind of death compares
to my living lamentation
where the more I live the more I die.
When I think of unburdening,
seeing you in that sacrament
makes me feel more pain
that I cannot rejoice in you;
all this adds sorrow to sorrow,
I can’t see you as I want to
and I die because I die not
And if joy, O Lord, overwhelms
with the hope of seeing you,
that I might lose sight of you
doubles this pain of sorrows:
Living with such tremendous fear,
and yearning the way I yearn
I die more because I do not die.
O stop me from such a death,
My God, and grant me life;
don’t keep me so entangled
as if by a lasso bound.
Look, how I long to see you,
this aching is so complete
that I die because I do not die.
In time I’ll weep at my death,
and lament this life
that has to be so imprisoned
by sins, my sins
O my God O When, when?
When I tell you from truth enlightened,
“Live I,” because I do not die.
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