8.09.2022

I prefer the feeling of going away, going away

After the first party peters out, 
like the gradual slowdown of a merry-go-round, 
        another party begins 
 
and the survivors of the first party 
climb onto the second one 
        and start it up again. 
 
Behind me now my friend Richard 
is getting a fresh drink; Ann, in her black dress, 
is fanning her breasts; Cynthia is prancing 
from group to group, 
                                    making kissy-face— 
 
It is not given to me to understand 
the social pleasures of my species, but I think 
what they get from these affairs 
is what bees get from flowers—a nudging of the stamen, 
 
a sprinkle of pollen 
about the head and shoulders— 
 
whereas I prefer the feeling of going away, going away, 
stretching out my distance from the voices and the lights 
until the tether breaks and I 
 
am in the wild sweet dark 
where the sea breeze sizzles in the hedgetop, 
 
and the big weed heads, whose names I never learned, 
lift and nod upon their stalks. 
 
What I like about the trees is how 
they do not talk about the failure of their parents 
and what I like about the grasses is that 
they are not grasses in recovery 
 
and what I like about the flowers is 
that they are not flowers in need of 
empowerment or validation. They sway 
 
upon their thorny stems 
as if whatever was about to happen next tonight 
was sure to be completely interesting— 
 
the moon rising like an ivory tusk, 
a few sextillion molecules of skunk 
strolling through the air 
to mingle with the aura of a honeysuckle bush, 
 
and when they bump together in my nose, 
I want to raise my head and sing, 
I'm a child in paradise again 
when you touch me like that, baby, 
 
but instead, I stand still and listen 
to the breeze streaming through the upper story of a tree 
and the hum of insects in the field, 
letting everything else have a word, 
 
and then another word— 
because silence is always good manners 
and often a clever thing to say 
when you are at a party. 
 

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