9.15.2022

the life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it

76. What was the last thing you ate?     Cheerios and a Triple Berry Breez'r Bubbl'r
77. What games do you have on your phone?     there are no games on my phone
78. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or why not?    yes, because I've seen enough Doctor Mike clips to know that mouth-to-mouth is not as important as chest compressions. The "status" of the person would not affect that!
79. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?     sure
80. Stalked someone on a social network?    I'm a blocker, not a stalker
81. Do you like meeting new people?     "I only want to meet people I already know."
82. Do you wear rings? If you do, take a picture of them.    nope, not a ring-wearer. I used to, and have several, but rarely think of or bother with them now.
83. Do you sleep with your bedroom door open or closed?     open. I don't know if I have ever closed that door?
84. What are three things you did today?     texted an odd conversation, ate breakfast, and folded blankets
86. List all of your different beauty products you have right now.    here's a few:
    • pretty much everything from [redacted]
    OPI nail polish
    Kevin Murphy Hydrate-Me Wash shampoo
    MoroccanOil Hydrating conditioner
    Olay Eyes cream
    pomegranate raspberry shave cream from eos
    Nivea Smoothness lip balm
87. Are you a day or night person?     night, night, night—and here's some scientific justification, for those who are opposed simply on principle
89. Tell me about a dream that you had and when it happened.    I recently dreamed that I was chasing my most recent former boss with a racket of some kind, with the goal of smacking him over the head. 
    Contemplation of this dream led me to consider whether my concept of "misogyny" has been perverted by and absorbed into my incompatibility with my last couple of bosses. Do I believe that they are gender-discriminating bullies because I simply did not get along with them? Did I use that as an excuse to dislike them? After a good deal of reflection (walking is the perfect time to examine such things!) I have decided that it is accurate to say that they are both anti-women ... and that I "was not a good fit" with them for that and many other reasons.
90. Favourite soda drink?     regular Coke
91. What sounds are your favourite?    the door opening, when I've been anticipating someone's arrival. Or the timer going off, saying the pizza's done. Or surprising a laugh out of D, who is a person with a strong sense of humor but is not a big laugher; knowing that I've amused and pleased him is a treasure.
92. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?     uh, neither? I've worn shorts 99% of the summer because I'm almost always roasting and because I've been told that my legs are pretty good. Now and then I'll wear jeans or yoga pants. And, of course, PJ pants!
93. How do you look right now?     bleary. I woke early, with a headache.
94. Name something that relaxes you.     massage
95. What tattoo do you want?     I'm at a crossroads with the tattoos. Part of me wants to get them touched up and acquire another. The other part of me just wants them to fade - or to have them removed.
96. Favourite YouTuber?    Kurt the cat (with Abram Engle) 
97. Baths or showers?    I haven't had a bath since I lived at the house - nearly a year! I miss that SO much. Mind you, I love my walk-in shower. Just can't wait for a bubble bath 'til I'm prune-y!
98. What's one thing you need to hear right now?    pretty much everyone I talk with face to face is very close to me, and they know about my struggles. That means that I hear "anything new on the job front?" way, way more often than I want to. There's no good way to say that the process is frustrating and disheartening, and even more so when I have to relay my failure to the people I care about the most. 
    What do I need to hear? That I am more than my employment status. That I'm loved. That I'm supported. That someone is proud of me for not giving in to the effect this is having on my mental state.
99. Currently reading?    Persian Poets, part of the Everyman's Library Pocket Poets series
100. Any plans coming up?    I will be staying at a friend's house for the next few days. Watching football tonight and Sunday (and maybe Saturday, too, depending on what's available). Walking today on the usual route and this weekend at "the branch office" route, which is eagerly anticipated. Home on Monday, walking the big lake in the evening with a friend from the financial institution. Seeing my doctor (!!) on Tuesday. Oil change Thursday morning, and later, dinner with the parents. 5k (virtual) on Saturday, probably at the artsy biking town. ...
 
[from here; the title quotation is by J.M. Barrie, from The Little Minister]

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