didn't you notice a powerful and obnoxious odor of mendacity in this room?

What’s the oldest piece of technology you’ve ever used?    

    a film-cleaning machine at my undergrad campus job. Or possibly the bread slicer at my first "real" job, which looked more like a dismemberment device.

What’s the most offensive joke you know?

      I don't think I know any offensive jokes

Is there anyone in your life that you could beat in a rap battle?

      maybe my parents

What’s the stupidest thing you’d do if you had a week left to live?

      tell a bunch of people that I love them, as if that would change anything. And very quickly try to resolve much of my estate "plan" to make settling it easier on my PR.

You’re stranded on a deserted island, would you pick to have a hot tub or a shower? 

     shower - because I could presumably bathe in the surrounding body of water

What’s one amazing combination of foods that no one knows about except you?

      I wouldn't share this information with just anyone!

In a zombie apocalypse, what kind of weapon would you pick from the things that you have at home?

      a lighter and a full aerosol can

Was there ever something that you thought was possible after watching some movie or TV as a kid, that is now absolutely ridiculous to think of in retrospect? 

     uhm, like Gilligan's Island showers?

Are there any words that annoy you for no reason, that just can’t stand hearing or saying?

     "elevator pitch", "orientate", or "life coach"

What kind of food could disappear from the world forever and never be missed?

     mushrooms

Do you recall the moment you laughed the hardest in your life?      

    listening to my mom and her sisters chatting. I don't remember the specific circumstances, but there were times when they got together that would become incredibly silly and hilarious. I wished then that I'd had a bigger family so we could behave that way too.

Would you play Russian roulette with a 5 in 6 chance of becoming ultra-rich and a 1 in 6 chance of dying?

      absolutely, no question

 

[from here; the title quotation is from Tennessee Williams, in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof]