no, we're sentimental people and we horrify easily. true, our moral fiber is rotten

1 If there is one area of your life in which you always follow your heart rather than your head, what is it? 

    romantic relationships, major work decisions, and how I behave toward certain other people in my life 

 

2 If you were to remember the best experience you have had regarding a sibling, what would it be?

    any of numerous planning/shopping/executing excursions in home maintenance, repair, and upgrades. He is brilliant at anything mechanical, can think his way through things that most people would need to have professionally drafted before they could even imagine, and figures out a better way to do almost anything. He's a leftie and I'm a rightie, which seems to make us particularly good at master and apprentice sorts of stuff (I can hand him the tool in the proper orientation, I can hold the light without either of us blocking the beam, etc.). He is much stronger than I am but gives terrific directions beforehand, so moving something heavy or accomplishing a task requiring tools used in sequence is completed with no fuss and in minimal time. He also gives excellent instruction, concise and helpful without condescension or frustration. Plus, we have a good time while we're doing it.

 

3 If you were to name a person you know who would most benefit from meditation, who would it be? 

     a friend with a chronic illness, a bad attitude, and an inability or unwillingness to shut up and listen. A small dose of self-awareness might do wonders with that attitude and bad behavior, much less dealing with their physical condition. Research shows that meditation and other self-care techniques are beneficial in the lives of those with persistent disease.

 

4 If you were to have been a mystic hermit, where and when in history would you like to have lived? 

    now seems a fine time to be a hermit of any description. I'm sick to death of politics and football. I would LOVE to live in a world where I could be left alone and hounded by neither foe nor friend. 

    Though I would be happy to share soup and a cigar with a really big dude who can't speak, should one care to stop by. (If you haven't seen Young Frankenstein (1974)—this is your sign.)

 

5 If you made a very big mistake of some kind, who, of the people you know, would you first confess it to? 

    depends who could help or commiserate. I definitely would not tell someone who would make fun of me or never let me forget it. (you know who you are) 

    I'm not sure that mistakes need to be "confessed," exactly. That word implies not only accepting and admitting one's mistakes but also of being blame-worthy and needing to protect oneself from punishment. 

    It is possible to make a very big mistake without needing to be blamed. It is possible to err, even hugely, without punishment being appropriate or just. 

    As I get older, I realize more and more that mistakes are rarely as big as they seem at the time, and that they are usually understandable or fixable or both. And that focusing too much on the badness or wrongness or even sometimes the preventability, is counterproductive. Accept, acknowledge, apologize if necessary, and move on.

 

6 If you were asked for proof of your moral fiber, in what way or with what example would you establish it? 

    if someone asked me for proof of my moral fiber, I'd tell them to fuck the fuck off. If you don't believe in it already, nothing I say and no "proof" I can provide will be enough.

7 If you were to name the person who is furthest from their calling and destiny in life, who would you choose? 

    a friend I've known for decades. He is one of the brightest, quickest, and highly skilled people I've known. His career in IT bears that out; his resume is impressive. He knows more, and about more things, than most anyone. Technology (obviously), politics, travel and vehicles, finance, management, history, science... pretty much any question I can imagine asking, he'd have an answer that was both thoughtful and accurate.

    At the same time, he is incredibly creative. He cooks, and enjoys good food. He's a terrific writer (and is a concise, direct counterpoint to my volubility). He dances. He plays an instrument fantastically well, and sings beautifully. He is charismatic, and sometimes leads karaoke night at a local watering hole And he is an actor.

    He has flourished in the theater world "later in life." I don't think that, apart from COVID, there's been a period where he's not been involved in at least one and more often overlapping productions. Besides theater, he's had a few movie roles and been involved in radio plays, as well.  

    It would be wrong to say that he's missed his calling and destiny. Who am I to say? I only mean that he has real talent in a variety of creative pursuits, which is far from his day-to-day responsibilities. It's possible, though, that having the normal-person job allows him to focus creativity in the things he enjoys most, both because he's making it financially possible and also because he's not "wasting" his ingenuity at work.   

    If he read this, I'd imagine his response would be an annoyed but tolerant smile. He's known me for a long time and put up with a lot. A mini-essay on his talent and inventiveness would be accepted, but with a little layer of 'enough, already' to make his point.

 

 [from If: Questions for the Soul; the title quotation is by Walker Percy, from The Moviegoer]