in our mad rush for progress and modern improvements let's be sure we take along with us all the old-fashioned things worth while

38. What aroma brings forth a special memory? 

    lefse baking. It is a detailed, intricate process (read about it here), takes a long time—I recall marathon all-day sessions where my grandma, mom, and at least 2 aunts were working straight through—and makes the house smell like nothing else in the world. Potatoes and flour in a unique steam. The funny part of it is that I do not like to eat lefse, not even with butter and brown sugar (which is the kid version of "traditional"), but would go back to that scent in a heartbeat. It is the aroma of family, holidays, and the particular closeness of women who have cooked like this many times before.

 

21. Tell me why you were named as you were. And what is the origin of your last name? 

    my parents tried to give us kids names that couldn't be shortened into dumb nicknames but just stand on their own. My brother and I were both given two-syllable first names and a one-syllable middle name, and our first names accent on the same syllable as our last name. Our sister has the opposite: one-syllable first and two-syllable middle with the accent on the opposite from our last name. She is always and ever different.

    Our last name is an English place name, and has a literal meaning which could be interpreted from the photo at left.

 

14. What are some of your family traditions that you particularly enjoy?

    • watching old, often intentionally weird movies with my parents on holidays, e.g. Tobacco Road (1941) or Woman of the Year (1942, reviewed here)

    • weekly breakfasts with parents & bro often involve some funny unspoken communication. Holding up a condiment means, "Does anyone want some of this?" Bro and I sit on the same side of the booth and generally finish eating well before the parents, both because they eat more leisurely and because they talk more than we do while eating. When we're both done, I gather up my utensils in my right hand. He picks up his plate and I slide mine under, then settle my utensils on top.

    • my parents only put a handful of ornaments on their Christmas tree, one of which is my favorite and always hangs toward the right side near the top

 

45. Share a memory of one of your grandparents. 

    I met three of the four. One of those did not like 'girl children' and essentially ignored me and my female cousins—not to mention her daughters, born before any of the boys. Moving on.... One of the others was not a terribly likeable person, had strained relationships with their (adult) children, and pretty much ignored the rest of us. Moving on....

     My maternal grandmother is my picture of "grandmotherly", though she was only 64 when she died. I remember her smiling, warm from the kitchen (see, e.g., lefse baking), and very kind. She had many grandchildren (~25) and never failed to remember our names or our specific needs and interests. She gave me books for birthdays and Christmas, instead of toys like the other kids. Just right!

 

36. What motion picture star would you like to interview? Why? 

    "interview" is overstating it, but I'd love to have a casual conversation with Jean Reno. He seems like a fascinating person who's lived an adventurous life. He appears a little nutty (in a good way) and active and un-Hollywood. 

    Along that same line, Jet Li would be a great person to talk to. He's involved and interested in so many things that have nothing to do with movies; he would be great to talk with (or just to listen to) even if he weren't one of my favorite actors! Of course he's been in loads of movies that I really like, so that part would be a joy as well. i'd especially like to ask about Ocean Heaven (2010).

 

22. Tell about a place you’ve visited that you hope never to return to.

    I didn't love Atlanta (a combination of too busy + too expensive + too dull). Other than that, I've found something compelling about every place that I've stayed for any amount of time.   

 

39. Describe the scariest person you ever met. 

    at the financial place, I worked with someone who began in a throwaway, almost temporary position, but who successfully transferred to one of extremely high security clearance. They started out all right, and we even became friends for a while. However, their control over the temptations of the job was tenuous from the start. Some of it I only heard about, some I knew about but only by inference, but most of it was shared with me (and others) with unrepentant relish. That burgeoning friendship was (quietly) cut, in part because I didn't want any smear-by-association taint at work, but also because they interpersonally scared the crap out of me. If you're willing to violate ethics on the job, what are you willing to do to the people in your life?  {{shudder}}

 

[from The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills and Leave a Positive Impression by Debra Fine; the title quotation is by Laura Ingalls Wilder, from A Family Collection]