we only notice we're alive when we're reminded we're going to die, the same way some of us appreciate our girlfriends only after they've become exes

Do you keep pictures of your ex after a breakup? 

    sure, why not? I have 50,000 photographs, easy. The pictures taken of or with an ex are part of my visual history. I've selectively thrown out a few that no one ever needs to see, but overall the history remains.

 

Have you ever filmed a sexy video with a partner? 

    ugh no

 

Is it ever okay to lie? 

    yes

 

What is something you've spent an embarrassing amount of money on? 

    socks, and hosiery of all kinds. I had occasion to have it all out at once (warm weather and cold weather call for a different wardrobe,

and socks are in that category) and the numbers were staggering. I've got a dozen pairs of wool boot socks (i.e. thicker weight and a little taller than my usual) alone. That makes sense, at least—I used to wear those to work over a pair of tights (also far too many of those!) inside my "fashion" boots (as opposed to scruffy snow boots with lug soles). Where it goes off the rails are the FOUR different styles of athletic socks, or the 3 pairs of 'velvet' socks that I don't even like ('cause, duh, the velvet goes on the outside, so they're scratchier than normal and not at all breathable, though they look cool).

What's a movie that isn't supposed to be sexy but you found yourself turned on by? 

    not sure that it wasn't supposed to be (how would I know?) and I'm sure I'd not call it "turned on," exactly? But I thought What We Do Next (2022) was remarkable and scary and sexy, too. (Reviewed here.)

What's one thing you only do when you're alone? 

    shave. It is undignified and messy, a little dangerous when one is at all distracted, draws attention to something that by nature I'm trying to distract from, and isn't exactly a spectator sport anyway.

 

When you're attracted to someone, what body part do you notice first? 

    eyes

 

Would you feel comfortable if your current partner and your ex became good friends? 

    uuuuuuuh that would depend very much on the individual people. My most recent two partners would go together like pickles and peanut butter. I think my taste tends to veer on an almost "now I want the opposite" scale after a breakup.

    The first guy I dated after the divorce met H a couple of times. It was awkward on both sides. H thought the other guy seemed even younger than he was, and the other guy "thought H would be taller." When I asked him why, he looked at me quizzically and said, "Because he's got a Ph.D.!" That's Nick in a nutshell.

 

Do you think it's possible to be friends with an ex?

    for sure - see, e.g., the bottom question

 

Have you ever intimately texted the wrong person, accidentally? 

    I haven't done that, but I've received a text that was intimate (not sexually) and meant for someone else who happens to share my (first) name. It didn't exactly break my heart, but neither was I comfortable with the sender for a while.

 

How often do you look up your exes on social media? 

    never, unless we're friends now and I'm seeking them for another reason, and in that case I'd think of them as friend first, and ex only incidentally

 

[from here; the title quotation is by Tim Kreider, from We Learn Nothing]