the problem with introspection is that it has no end

1. If you were asked for an example of where and how you learned to love, what would you say? 

     when I was 12 years old, my brother was working on our uncle's farm, about 5 miles away. He would ride over on his little motorcycle before and after school. One afternoon upon arriving home, he got off the cycle with his jean jacket buttoned all the way to the top, which was not his usual look. He was also clutching his torso. Very carefully, he unbuttoned the jacket—revealing two tiny kittens. Their mother was no longer alive and they were too little to care for themselves. 

    We nursed those kittens, whose eyes were barely open, using a little bottle of warmed milk (many times per day!). They lived in a big laundry basket lined with towels and featuring a tiny sandbox. They soon graduated to kitten food, and made their way out of their basket.

    They were so cute, and so much fun, and from the start I was helplessly, painfully in love. 

 

2. If you had to name the event that most challenged your faith in the human soul, what would you say? 

    someone I used to know ended their marriage shortly after returning home from their extensive, expensive honeymoon. They timed it that way to squeeze all the benefit from the marriage before moving their paramour into what had been the couple's home. I found it revolting, treachery on a level that I hadn't personally experienced before. 

 

3. If you had to name the most difficult thing for you to talk about, what would it be? (You don't need to talk about it, just name it.) 

    loss 

 

4. If you found out you were terminally ill and could do one thing to put your soul in order,

what would it be? 

    my soul is not perfect, but neither is it out of order. There is no one thing wearing on my conscience or emotions that is within my powers to resolve, much less to handle while terminally ill.  

 

5. If you had to elect the time when your ego took the biggest blow, when would it be? 

     the end of my job at the law firm was devastating in ways I couldn't even start to see at the time. It exploded my self-image into tiny pieces.

 

6. If you were to name an omen or sign that helped you choose a path in your life, what would you say?

    signs are easy to identify in hindsight, aren't they? 

7. If you could have an angel whisper one thing in your ear every day, what would you want to hear?

    "go back to sleep"

 

 [from If: Questions for the Soul; the title quotation is by Philip K. Dick, from The Transmigration of Timothy Archer]