our poor human heart is flawed: it is like a cake without the frosting

1. What role does humor play in your expressions of love? 

     it works—but only when it is not even one iota hurtful.

 

2. How important is teamwork in a relationship? 

    teamwork is a good thing. Having mutual goals strengthens a couple's unity, drawing them closer. 

    At the same time, though, I firmly believe that remaining independent, singular people is also vital to a healthy relationship. I am more interested in a person whose life and work and hobbies are amenable to, but not a complete overlap with, my own. We'll have more to talk about if the topics vary. 

    I do have a sense that my responses to this question are reactionary.

 

3. What role does attraction play in love? 

    attraction marches alongside, maybe more like frosting than part of the cake itself. In my experience, attraction can be a pathetic, painful distraction from the truth of a relationship. Prehaps it's my age, but I absolutely vow that I'd rather have deep love without attraction than pale mirage with a physical fire beside it. 

 

4. Is love the same across all ages? 

    love is like lasagna: it's all different iterations of the same basic structure. Mine works for me, but is probably unappetizing to others (and thank goodness for that).

 

5. How important is listening in a relationship? 

    it's very important to me and mine. 

 

6. What lessons have your past relationships taught you about love?

    that I don't understand it, really 

 

8. Does love require physical attraction?

    obviously not. Some relationships, maybe. Love? No. 

 

[from here; the title quotation is by Fulton Sheen, from Peace of Soul: Timeless Wisdom on Finding Serenity and Joy by the Century's Most Acclaimed Catholic Bishop]