5.23.2026

the ability not to care—at times—as our society erupts and struggles

they're right: maybe it's been too easy just writing about myself and 
horses and drinking, but then I'm not trying to prove anything, taking 
long walks lately has been pleasant and although my desire for the female 
remains, I find that I needn't always be on the lookout for new conquests. 
riding the same mare need not be boring. let the wild young fillies be a 
problem for other men. I am often satisfied just being alone. I now find 
people more amusing than disgusting (am I weakening?) and although 
I still have nights and days of depression the typewriter does not fail me. 
readers expect continual growth from their poets but at this time just 
holding (the fort, haha) seems miraculous. long walks, yes. and the ability 
not to care—at times—as our society erupts and struggles does not mean 
that I am the victim of artistic loss. solitary evenings behind drawn blinds, 
being neither rich nor poor, can be satisfying. will madness arrive on 
schedule? I don't know and I don't seek an answer-just a small quiet 
space between not knowing, not wanting to know and finally finding out. 
 
 [Charles Bukowski, {1920-1994} 'some personal thoughts', from Come On In!]

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