[former friend]'s Interview, For Amy:
1. I know what you look like, but in your online life you consist, visually, of childhood photos and pictures of your feet. Why did you choose your feet, rather than, say, your hands, or your knees, or your hair? The foot thing started out with simple ego--I wanted to show off my new shoes, which I thought were pretty cool. That, in turn, got the attention of a certain someone. And that just spiraled out of control. Now my Friendster page is pretty much devoted to my feet and the worship thereof (although my "about me" line ought to be enough to ward off anyone who's not completely insane!). My hands are functional but pretty boring. I almost never polish my fingernails. And the scars and things show more than I'm interested in revealing. My knees: scars. Funny stories, but not worth photographing (I don't think?) My hair. Hmm. That's an interesting one. Perhaps I will start doing hair photos?
2. You've recently divorced your husband. Do you think this was the biggest change you've ever made in your life, or do you think that divorce has an overrated importance in our culture? The divorce itself was not the biggest change I've ever made. It was followed by, and in some ways precipitated, the big changes. I couldn't have gone through with the divorce if I didn't first figure out that I am OK alone. That was huge for me. I don't think that there is anything else about which I've thought so much, worried so much, and in the end, had more panic attacks about. Simply realizing that I could fall asleep without someone in the house with me--that was a much bigger deal than the half-hour court appearance. There are a zillion other things--financial and social primarily, but in lots of other areas, too--that changed along with my marital status. And those things will stay with me for a lot longer than the pain, hurt and sadness of the end of the marriage. You asked, "do you think that divorce has an overrated importance in our culture?" I'm not sure that I can answer that, generally. My only experience with divorce is my own. My brother went through one, as did my sister. A friend or two, too, including one whose court date I attended. But, hmm. "Overrated," in terms of the catastrophic implications that are placed on it? Yes, I think so. It doesn't have to be the end of the world, and it usually isn't. It certainly wasn't for me and the ex. He's happier now than I've ever seen him--ever. And I, while still retaining my ability to see the rain, even in white puffy clouds, am also more content. My life is mine, now. So, in that sense, there's nothing overrated about divorce: it's the best thing I've ever done. No, not "best", but most important, definitely.
3. I know what your favorite book is, but what's your favorite movie? Why? Oof, what a deceptively difficult question to answer! So I'll cop out and give a short list (which I recently wrote, verbatim, to a friend who lives out of the country). If I want to laugh, then Top Secret!. It's dated but still makes me snort with laughter every time. If I want to be frightened, then Manhunter. It terrifies me, even though I know what's coming. If I want to think, then...The Professional, perhaps, or Dead Poet's Society. I also like the A&E version of Tom Jones, which is sort of racy & bizarre but fun. Although I've seen exponentially more movies in the past six months than I had in the decade before, I still don't consider myself "a movie person." Maybe I'm not selective enough--it takes a lot for me to say that I didn't like something. I even got a life lesson from The Village, so I clearly must be insane...or utterly without critical skills!
4. Which of your higher educational degrees do you feel most proud of, and why? Ah, there's the rub! I'm not fond of the degrees at all. It's the education that I value. So. How to answer this? My bachelor's degree (B.A., History, hometown State University, 1992) taught me how to write less. How to persevere. How to do what I didn't want to do because I had to do it. My law degree (J.D., Flatland University, 1999) taught me how to cooperate. How to float above myself and just do what needed to be done rather than thinking about what I was doing. And, in the end, it taught me that I can do whatever the fuck I please and get away with it. My master's degree (M.A., History, Grad University, 2004) taught me...to write more. How to persevere. And how, when it was the last thing in the world that I wanted, to shut up and do it. What am I the most proud of? The M.A., because I didn't give in to the great, overwhelming desire to just chuck it all and know that no one would give a shit if I didn't finish. I would have been devastated, to have failed. Not much of an expression of "pride," is it.
5. Since we know, now, how you feel about sex in libraries, describe the strangest acceptable behavior you've ever seen in a library. (Because we all know that people can stay within the bounds of the rules and still be pretty odd.) ~ Two local juveniles were caught in the ladies' room, in a stall, together. When asked what they were doing (or some such question) they replied, "We were having an intimate time together." ~ The directrix once demonstrated "pet yoga" on the floor of my office. Not with a pet, but by herself. ~ A female patron was asked to leave because she was being disruptive. As she walked down the stairs (into the HUGE, high-ceilinged foyer), she hollered at the top of her lungs to the staff member who'd requested her absence, "YOU'RE JUST A CUNT! A FUCKING CUNT! YOU FUCKING CUNT!" ~ The former Head of Adult Services. How can I limit her appearance, behavior, etc., to just one thing? She was a walking disaster, at least in relation to this place. I realize that a couple of those are not "acceptable" activities, but they do number among the things I've seen. In this hick town of 12,000 or so people. What must big city libraries be like?!
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