be loyal to what you love, be true to the earth, fight your enemies with passion and laughter

January 2: popinjay, meaning "a strutting supercilious person".

February 2: vade mecum, meaning "a book for ready reference; manual" or "something regularly carried about by a person."

I do have a vade mecum of sorts: a small notebook, in my purse. It serves the usual purpose for practical things, but has also come to represent something more meaningful to those who know me well. Finding that one is 'in the notebook' is a sort of badge of honor, I believe: it means that I listen to you closely enough to have read double-meanings into what you say, or (in the best case) found you unforgettably clever. I alone wield the power over what is entered into the notebook, which has led to some strange negotiations and pleas about what constitutes wit.

All this, for a notebook; it makes me a bit of a popinjay, doesn't it?

---

The very dear daughter of a very dear friend made this diorama for me at Christmas with one of her good friends. As soon as I returned from the Great White North, it found a special place beneath Bob's [decorated] stool.
Thanks, P-Nut!

To know why this gift means so much to me...well, you'd have to know me pretty damned well. It's a German Christmas ornament, fragile glass, and hanging with pride from my dining room light fixture - where it will remain, because I absolutely love it, and the person who gave it.
Happy birthday just a little early, Sparky. ♥

[the title quotation is by Edward Abbey]

it takes a long time to grow an old friend

New month, new day, new start.

Last week was Christmas, part two. I had four separate holiday-ish events that had either been delayed or just late-scheduled. It was a little strange, but not really. Not for me.

One of the big hits is my new Word-of-the-Day calendar from The Cat & The Beast. Because I'm a full month behind on such things, I'll try to make up by doubling the words that I cover for this month (plus an odd few for the start of the next).

January 1: ab ovo, meaning "from the beginning".

It is not surprising to me that, ab ovo, 2012 already seems to be getting away from me. 

February 1: backstairs, meaning "secret, furtive"; also "sordid or scandalous".

Since the implementation of the 'no private communications during work hours' rule, my electronic correspondence with the Mumbler has gone even more backstairs.

At some point there will be photographs of all (or nearly all) of my loot - highlighting the uniquely and delightfully point/counterpoint nature of this year's gift-receiving - but for now I leave you with a picture of the fantastic bouquet that the Cat-Beasts brought to me on Saturday. Isn't it a beauty?

[the title quotation is by John Leonard]

I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.

One of my plants apparently attempted suicide this weekend. I came downstairs Sunday morning and found it facedown in the kitchen sink, having leapt (or fallen, or been pushed) from the windowsill above. It seemed like a metaphor.

The last couple of months have been, overall, sort of difficult. It's safe to say that I've suffered several of what could be kindly termed 'setbacks' is an understatement. My eyes have been forcibly opened to some truth that I would have rather not known. I'm starting to realize what "blissfully ignorant" really means.

I finally came to understand that someone I'd liked from afar (very much so, from "very far") simply does not share my interest. It isn't a matter of "being ready" or any other convenient excuse; it would be too much to say he's not that into me--he's not into me at all.

I tried, gently, again, to see (maybe have a grilled cheese with) the terminally oblivious (or, in the alternative, cruel--which is a prospect I still choose not to accept) lawyer, and once again hit the wall. As with every other interaction I've had with him (and yes, I realize that "interaction" implies that both of us were present and active, but it's close enough), the past year makes me wonder what the Hell he wanted, meant to do, thought he was doing, was doing, and thought later that he had done.

Over Christmas, I had the opportunity to see someone I haven't seen in half a lifetime. The person who, probably without knowing it, nearly helped me break up my marriage before it even started. For some reason, though, we both cancelled the plan to see each other. Is it all water under the bridge? Is it too late? Have we gone too far, knowing each other too well to be "normal" anymore? Or was it just winter weather and a sick relative and we really will do it some other time?

'Things' with the delivery guy seem to have careened to a stop, probably gradually over several months but seemingly during the course of a six-hour conversation. Don't get me wrong; it's a good thing. But just because it's good and right doesn't mean it's not hard and sad and awful, too. There is more to it than even just the end of this long, thoughtless habit. Other people, money, criminal activities, time (not that it's "wasted" because it's not "spent" or "invested", just lived), and some ineffable, indescribable others, too. Sorting that one out would take a while. Not sure if it's necessary. Not sure if I'm willing.

Finally, yesterday, I found out that theloveofmylife is going to be a father in a couple of months. The specifics don't matter as much as the sheer surprise that the news received. I literally had not imagined that such a thing would happen. Would it be easier if I'd imagined it, though? Would I have been "prepared"? I didn't really believe that he was 'coming back'--there is no back to come, and too much has changed in each of us and in life to be there again.

I suppose I just thought I wouldn't have to know.

The title quotation is by Rabindranath Tagore.

many things grow in the garden that were never sown there

aloe. It seems to be outgrowing its pot. I hope it'll hold off on needing a new home until spring.

Ziggy Marley (Bob's first son). He's grown new tiny limbs since winter began - you can see a couple of them at the bottom of this photo.

I've had this climber since college. Its health waxes and wanes. At the moment (knock on wood) it's humming along nicely.

God. Only. Knows. It looked like a little palm when I bought it, toward the end of summer. It seems to like the  circumstances here - it seems to be going a little bonkers. The fronds are light but almost razor-sharp at the edge; the plant itself has divided into 3 bulb-like protrusions at the base.

It looks like pea pods, but each "limb" weighs too much to stand on its own anymore. No clue what it might be.

I've never had good luck with ivy. In fact, there's another upstairs that's on death's door. This one, though, seems to be going like gangbusters, including growing into the contents of the duck mug.

The jade (left) is flourishing from being ignored. The sharp-edged aloe (right) is becoming overly large and wobbly but seems healthy enough for now. I sense repotting in my future here, too.

The Christmas cactus is at the end of the blooming season. They were some gorgeous blossoms.  It desperately needs a larger home.

We have SPROUT! The first avocado (Avo), the only one with a root, has finally launched a sprout. (If it's not visible at this size, click the photo for detail.) The sprout needs to reach something like 6" before I can pot it in soil. So much waiting! 

The Plant That I Forget To Water.

There is now a plant at the top of the stairs. I'm thinking of adding a few more. This one seems to be doing all right.

[detail of previous]

[title quotation by Thomas Fuller, from Gnomologia]

I was good. I was really good.

1. The 12th edition of the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, published [the month that this meme originally came out], has 400 new entries including the words sexting, cyberbullying, jeggings, and mankini. If you could create your own word to add to the dictionary, what would it be and what would its definition be?
   outch
   [Pronunciation: /aʊtʃ/
   exclamation, used to express severe psychic and/or sympathetic pain:
   "Outch! I can imagine how much it hurt when he blatantly flirted with you for several hours in that bar and then inexplicably never called you again."
2. Summer's Eve, the company that sells feminine cleansing products, has a new advertising campaign that promotes the vagina as all-powerful, the cradle of life, the center of civilization, and the thing men battle over. "Hail to the V," the company says. What is your reaction to this ad campaign?
   *gag*
   
   Not that it's not a nice idea, but, really? Think about what they're selling. Really think about the. product. that. They. are. Selling. If what they're saying were utterly true, would they need to over-hype it so much?
   
   I truly hate the phrase "it is what it is" - what else could it be, after all? - but in this case...yeah. It's nothing to be ashamed about, or afraid of, but it's also nothing to have a party over. It just...is.
3. Burger King announced...that it was retiring its mascot who peeped into windows and popped up next to people in bed in commercials. Some people found the king creepy. What did you think?
   As much as I relish the idea of waking up in bed next to someone I hadn't invited to be there...yeah, nevermind. Creepy is right.
4. The people in the Burger King commercials were happy when the king showed up with breakfast. How would you react to him showing up at your house?
   I think I'd pretend I wasn't here. That's my M.O. under normal circumstances.
5. Actor Jim Carrey posted a video love letter to actress Emma Stone on his blog.... If you were to post a love letter to a celebrity (whether it's serious or a joke), who would you write it to?
   probably Robert Sean Leonard. I've seen several of his works lately, from way-back-when (Dead Poets Society, Swing Kids) to the "middle years" (Much Ado About Nothing) and of course House, M.D. Besides being a really good actor (his Neil Perry in DPS is devastating - the title quotation is him, from here), he's just plain hot.
6. Jim Carrey is 49, and Emma Stone is only 23. How big can an age difference between a couple be before it becomes too creepy?
   it completely depends on their ages. Are they both over 18 the whole time? Has the relationship been carried out in an otherwise "above-board" manner? Meaning, has any of it been hidden because of the age difference? Or is it just another relationship, made more interesting by other peoples' fascination with numbers?
   
   Look: this is both something that I cannot understand in the slightest, and also something that I feel extremely strongly about. Too many people have FAR too much interest in other peoples' business. I don't give one flip about 90% of the topics that pass for 'news' today, much less 'leisure' or even 'sports' (since that's so often 'gossip' anyway!) But I really, really do have an emotional reaction to someone else telling me that my affection and attention toward someone else - when that someone is legally responsible for their actions, and their reactions to my actions - is 'wrong'. There is, to be true, no more likely way to achieve my deep wrath.
7. Hurricane Irene [wrecked] havoc on the East coast. How would you feel if a hurricane shared the same name as you?
   there have likely been a few, given the placement of my name in the alpha. I haven't checked to see if it's still in the rota; since I don't live in the target zone, it's not a particular concern of mine.
8. What is your definition of "normal?"
   usually "whatever I'm not"
9. An Associated Press movie critic has listed her five favorite high school comedy movies -- "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," "Rushmore," "Sixteen Candles," "Election," and "Heathers." What is your favorite movie about life in high school?
   Dazed and Confused. Each time I see it, I see greater depth and more intelligence and truth revealed.
   
   Of the above, I've seen the first three; Fast Times is a farce, Rushmore is as wonderful and surreal and pointless as all of Wes Anderson's movies (and Jason Schwartzman is, holy crap, fantastic), and Sixteen Candles - as much of a heartbreaking watershed moment in my history as it represents - is just another teenage movie.
10. [The weekend that this meme came out] the comedy "Our Idiot Brother" opens in movie theaters across the United States. Have you ever had to help a relative out of an idiotic situation?
    no...I was probably that guy, even.

[from The Cat, who got it here]

he fed his spirit with the bread of books

Searching my image archives for a photo of something else, I came upon these pictures from my home library. They made me, simultaneously, homesick and a little nauseated (at least the first couple). Can you imagine trying to find something here, quickly? The building itself is very impressive, though, and brings back lots of good memories (some of which even have to do with reading...).

Fiction stacks

"The art room" - which also shelves some classes of nonfiction,  if I recall correctly, as well as their circulating artworks. :)

The view from the art room toward (adult) media

The view from the art room toward Reference

More of Reference from that same vantage point

Detail of the rotunda ceiling

Read more about it here.   [Title quotation by Edwin Markham]

empty.

“In a deteriorating love affair, you may be deeply torn between the choice of holding on or letting go.  If you remain indecisive, the internal conflict can depress you and even make you ill.  You should make a quick determination whether to hold on by fighting or let go by retreating.
“Holding on unsuccessfully is like clenching your fist tighter and fighter until your knuckles turn white.  Letting go is like opening your fist.  It feels better, but your hand is empty.”

[unknown]

Yep.