man’s work is nothing but a slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those one or two things in whose presence his heart first opened

1. What is a quote that you love?
   Do or do not, there is no try. [Yoda]
2. Do you think of pure hate as something humanity created?
   Theologically, I believe that everything was created by God, including all the stupid stuff we are/do/believe. Philosophically, I know that "pure hate" does not exist - it is far more complex than that, in that it is always tempered with guilt, shame, fear, inferiority, pain, lust, and myriad other inexpressible and probably unacknowledged things. Practically, I think, Hell, yeah, 'cause where else would it come from?
3. When was the last time you wanted to scream?
   earlier this evening, while watching videos from Bad Lip Reading with friends
4. Do you ever at times see the world in black and white?
   no, my eyes function properly
5. Have you ever thought that cell phones are too obtrusive?
   of course - although they are only as, er, intrustive as one allows them to be
6. In your life, where do you think the rainbow will end?
   honey, it ought to be clear by now that the rainbow "ended" for me long ago
7. What is something that you never want to do again?
   get anesthesia in my toes. Move twice in a month. Kiss a man who's not willing. Eat goose. Be the last to know.
8. When was the first time you realized the world was small?
   when I saw the Northern Lights (for the first time)
9. How you spend your time contemplating life’s mysteries?
   reading, writing, talking with friends (like-minded or otherwise), driving
10. Ever discuss your political beliefs with people?
    very, very rarely
11. Do you care about the environment?
    um, yeah
12. What’s your motto for life?
    'TBD'
13. Is progress destroying the beauty of the world?
    unless one defines 'progress' in a negative way, it - by nature - cannot destroy. 'Progress' just is, like 'fact'.
14. Do you believe there is life somewhere else in the universe?
    I really, really don't think/worry about it. Ever.
15. Would you like to rule a country?
    not even close. I don't even want to rule my own home.
16. Do you believe everything has a purpose?
    not at all! (In a "serious" answer to the black-and-white question above, I think that EVERYTHING is gray.)
17. Is war ever for the best?
    definitely. “Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.” [Horace Mann, 1859]
18. Could you kill anyone in defense of self or loved ones?
    probably not for myself; definitely for loved ones
19. How do you react to people (such as Governor Rick Perry) who don't believe global warming is really our fault?
    an eye-roll at most, as all foolish and short-sighted people deserve. See the commentary about "facts", above.
20. Does love conquer all?
    probably
21. Is euthanasia morally acceptable?
    it depends
22. Is world peace impossible?
    yes
23. Is pride a good or a bad thing?
    definitely. I also believe that it's inevitable.
24. What do you think is the purpose of your life?
    to ask questions, to wonder, to think, to be sad, to write, to love, to be alone, and to make other people think - sometimes
25. Do you believe in karma?
    sort of, as I understand it (which is a very incomplete and Westernized 'understanding')

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Albert Camus]

the camera can photograph thought

These books were among the last that I unpacked--along with Fox in Socks. That was a very weird box.

The African violets continue to amaze and delight.

...regardless of the angle from which they are  viewed.

The books, finally at home! Fiction R-Z and most of Nonfiction.

Fiction (A-R)

Philosophy (no room in the inn...yet)

Historiography (homeless)

One of the avocados (on the right) is throwing down a root! The other is being stubborn.

Opposite view of the avocados.

[title quotation by Dirk Bogarde]

knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet

• Who was the last person you went shopping with?
  Heidi
• What is something you need to go shopping for?
  
  I probably need new jeans, but I'm convinced that I can do what's necessary to get by without acquiring any
• Do you have the same first name as one of your relatives?
  
  yes, one of my older cousins has a daughter who shares my name
• What kind of car do (did) your parents drive?
  
  Mom has a blue Accord; Dad has a maroon CR-V
• Are you rich?
  
  financially: not in anyone's imagination. Personally: more than you'll ever know.
• If you could spend one intimate night with a celebrity, no questions asked, never to see them again, who would it be?
  
  Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, I'd prefer more than one night, but I'll take what I can get.
• What famous person do you look like? Feel free to use this facial match program by clicking here. Show us at least the celeb photo.
  

  

  Fernanda Tavares - 62.78% match

  

  Alyssa Milano - 61.67% match

  

  Brooke Burke - 61.11% match

  

  Ann Kok - 60.56% match

  

  Linda Lovelace - 60.56% match

  Um, whatever. I think that the site may have interpreted more ethnicity than was appropriate.
• What is the most daring thing you've done recently?
  
  I've been in a pretty anti-daring mode lately. Folding inward. Protecting my tender underbelly.
• Say you were given a pregnancy test right now. Would you pass or fail?
  
  "pass" or "fail"? I suppose that depends on your perspective.
• Which sex scandal of the last decade bothers you the most?
  
  Use the word 'scandal' and guarantee that I Don't. Care. At. All.
• Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
  
  probably not
• What are your plans (or what have you done) for this weekend?
  
  a quick trip to the megalopolis on Friday, followed by two days of attempted-intensive sleeping and recuperating. I'm through taking the steroids but still feel pretty wretched (currently thinking there might be fluid in the lungs).
• Have you ever woken up and not known where you were?
  
  only momentarily
• What were you doing at midnight last night?
  
  trying to sleep but failing, super-miserably. Last night was a very rough night; between discomfort from congestion, basic inability to sleep, and shockingly violent nightmares once I did sleep, it was a long voyage on a stormy sea.
• Last restaurant you went to?
  
  probably Duke's?
• How many hours did you sleep last night?
  
  maybe five, though I was in bed for at least eight
• Which is more distracting: sexting while driving or sex while driving?
  
  in that case, I don't think there's a distinction, Mr. Clinton
• Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
  
  apart from the person with whom I'm texting (be clear on that word), I'm going to guess 'no'
• Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
  
  oh hell yeah - who hasn't?!

[from here, from here; title quotation is by Lord Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield]

do not show how much you care

Do not show how jealous you are. Do not
show how much you care. Do not think the bunch
of flowers in his hand connects the hand to you.
Do not close your eyes and kiss the funny
lips. Do not twist your torso, touching yourself
like a monkey. Do not put your mouth
on the filthy place that changes everything.
Do not utter the monosyllable twice that is
the signature of dogdom. Do not, afterward,
appear mangy with old breath, scrutinizing
every hole. And do not think--touching his hair,
licking, sucking, and being sucked in the same
instant, no longer lonely--that you
are two animals perfect as one.

[Henri Cole, 'One Animal', from Touch: Poems]

what if you lose yourself sometimes? then I'll be the one to find you, safe in my heart

• What's for breakfast?
  this morning, Frosted Mini Wheats. Tomorrow, probably Special K with Red Berries.
• Do you read a newspaper daily?
  most days, I'll scan the headlines on the local and hometown papers (online).
• What do you do when you can't sleep?
  try harder. I'm not one to get up and do something else. When all else fails, drugs usually work.
• Type a word that sums up your mood.
  "blarghhh". I've been under the weather for days, was home sick from work yesterday, spent today either sleeping, reading, or watching TV - and while I was awake, I was generally drinking either tea, water, or orange juice. I can't hear (my ears are clogged), I have zero energy, and I look like crap.
• Do you remember your dreams?
  if I'm getting enough sleep, yes.
• Name something from your dream last night.
  my former physical therapist and my sister were racing Formula One cars through the streets of A2, while I carried on a torrid affair with my former boss and everyone around us (including our coworkers) pretended that they didn't know, but clearly did. Ah, fevers.
• Name a food that describes you.
  at the moment? Egg-drop soup.
• Today you are wearing:
  exactly what I was wearing yesterday! Being sick is so glamorous.
• What's in your pockets?
  no pockets for anything to be in.
• Did you sing in the shower today?
  uh, no. Sustained talking (or even thinking about talking) makes me cough.
• What's the last song you heard?
  "Giving Up" by Ingrid Michaelson. (The title quotation is from this song.)
  
• Looking forward to the holidays?
  some more than others, yes. The next one should be...interesting.
• Where do you want to be this instant?
  asleep. Don't particularly care where.
• What's for lunch?
  today: chicken rice. Tomorrow, probably pasta of some sort.
• What's something you would like to do soon?
  feel like a human. Maybe sleep at night and be awake all day. Possibly hear everything that's happening in the vicinity.
• Reading anything now? What is it?
  
  • A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin (#3 in 'A Song of Ice and Fire')
  • Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler, and
  • Bone in the Throat by Anthony Bourdain
• What's for dinner?
  Tonight, it was vanilla Greek yogurt with fresh strawberries. Tomorrow, probably some kind of soup.
• A favorite part of the day is:
  11:PM-3:AM
• Are you happy?
  sometimes, yes.

[from The Cat, who got it here]

a silent beat before answering a question

As soon as he sits down I can tell I want to.
How long can I sit here not doing the thing
I want to do. All the youngish men
all the etceteras of desire, etcetera.
There's a little hole in my boot.
Could you put your finger in it?
There is power in breathing.
There is power in a silent beat
before answering a question, in a leaning in.
Across the table his mind right there
behind his talking face.

[Deborah Landau, from "All Else Fails" in The Last Usable Hour]

vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over

    The pineapple experiment seems to be a bust. Patty Ann II...no more.
    Long Live The Avocados!
    I'm starting with two, following these instructions. I'll photograph them every few days. With any luck (pleasepleaseplease) there should be something interesting to look at in about two weeks.
    Any suggestions for names? Or, maybe I shouldn't get attached yet, huh?

[title quotation by F. Scott Fitzgerald]

where Zen ends, ass-kicking begins

Complete the Sentences:

• Right now I'm feeling... twitchy. Today was not the best of days, and I'm trying to Let It Go. Easier said than done.
• When I'm alone I feel... better, but sometimes lonely.
• When I'm surrounded by people I feel... annoyed.
• One thing I hate is... the windsockness of the MFing windsock in charge of what passes for my professional life right now.
• One thing I really like about myself is... my willingness.
• When I'm feeling sad I... can't, and don't, deal with other people.
• When I daydream it's usually about... quiet, and order.
• I'm afraid of... big dogs, heights, and falling into familiar traps.
• I'm happiest when... things are what they appear to be.
• One thing that really worries me is... when things seem to be going well, for too long.
• If I could change one thing about myself it would be... my sleep debt leaves a bit to be desired.
• If I could be with anyone right now I would be with... someone who'd be mightily surprised to find himself nose-wiggled into this lil' room.
• The family member I am closest to is... my brother.
• If I was really honest with my father I would tell him... that my sister can go jump in a lake for all I care.
• One thing I regret about my life is... waiting so long to start it.
• If I only had one more day to live I would... tell y'all everything I'm holding back for the sake of appearances.
• If I was really honest with my mother i would tell her... that my sister can go jump in a lake for all I care.
• One thing about me that nobody knows is... I think I'm going to die doing this stupid job, living in this stupid, godforsaken place - and thinking about it, much less living it, is a death sentence.
• I hope that someday in the future... I can drive a car that runs on water, man.
• When I think about my [extended] family I feel... affectionate, a little bit frustrated, bewildered, and resigned.
• Something I'm really embarrassed about is... my inability to dance.
• One thing about me I never want to change is... my priorities: read first, sleep later.
• One thing I feel really proud of is... my license.
• Blogsville has helped me to... [OK, ugh, that word is nasty.] Having a blog has helped me channel my thoughts, work through innumerable issues, convey lots of stuff that's inexpressible in standard ways, gossip, vent, gloat, tattle, and stay in contact with a few people I'd never even know otherwise.
• One thing I like about blogsville is... besides the above? The friendships run deep, if they develop at all. There isn't much "acquaintance" here.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is from That 70s Show, as is one of the answers above]

unthinkable

Snow rises as high as my windows. Inside by the fire
my chair is warm, and I remain compounded of cold.

It is unthinkable that we will not touch each other again.

As the barn's bats swoop, vastation folds its wings
over my chest to enclose my rapid, impetuous heart.

It is ruinous that we will never touch each other again.

Ten miles away, snow falls on your clapboard house.
You play with your children in frozen meadows of snow.

[Donald Hall, 'Ruins', from The Back Chamber]

it's fun when they're fetching, and agree to see an etching that you keep at your lily pad

1. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
   at the moment, House, M.D. I'm working my way through the fourth season on DVD. This is the first of the earlier seasons where I've actually seen a few episodes; I'd forgotten how much I loved Kutner and how I was so turned off by Amber. Poor, stupid Wilson.
2. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU DON'T LIKE?
   avoid & ignore.
3. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
   meh. I'm not a huge ice cream fan. I like the buttery flavors, though, if I have to: butter brickle, New York vanilla, that sort of thing.
4. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
   last time I checked. I think the middle finger of my right hand might be broken, though. I've really got to be more careful....
5. SO, IS IT GOING TO BE THE STEELERS OR THE PACKERS?
   I guess it's pretty apparent when I've had one of these quizzes lurking in my 'drafts' folder for a while, eh? In the last Super Bowl, it was clearly the Packers all the way; it was as if the Steelers barely showed up for the game. This year, the Packers are undefeated and the Steelers can't find their asses with help. So...yeah. It's the green machine once again, I think.
6. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
   just what I've done: laundry, watched some House, writing a longer blog post than normal (some of them lately have been pretty brief), and getting to bed before 11 so I don't start the week half-dead exhausted. We shall see how that last bit plays out.
7. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU RETIRE?
   "where"? Try "if". And that "if" depends heavily upon
   • winning a major lottery
   • gaining an enormous benefit from kind strangers, or
   • effecting a significant career change, but quick.
   None of these seems overly likely. However, should something miraculous happen, I'd go for something warm and south: Miami.
8. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
   sure, everyone. Ever. Let's bring the entire world economy to a standstill, just to satisfy completely meaningless curiosity. It's bad enough that I'm doing it, isn't it?
9. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
   "I Hope that Something Better Comes Along" by Matt Nathanson, from Muppets: The Green Album. (The title quotation comes from this song.)
10. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
    a couple of Dos Equis at Tasco on Friday night. Farewell, friend.
11. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
    Fluffy
12. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
    eyes - and whether they're willing to look into mine
13. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
    read, write, sleep
14. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
    the unbelievably terrible drivers in this area
15. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
    autumn
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
    peanut M&Ms
17. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
    really and truly, yes
18. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
    good question. It's somewhere in the brownish realm, eight shades darker than the blond I've been, and set to change again on Tuesday.
19. EYE COLOR?
    medium, washed-out blue
20. SHOE SIZE?
    somewhere between 7 and 8
21. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
    Jimmy John's, I suppose, though I'm not a big fan of the genre
22. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
    I've been thinking a lot about going back to The Freight House - if it's still as amazing as it used to be?
23. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
    I do. Surprised?
24. WATCH TV TODAY?
    a little. I had the game on, until I started to feel ill. And I watched 3 episodes of House this evening.
25. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
    Thanksgiving, sometimes
26. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
    yep. I can get by on the piano. I won't claim anything else anymore.
27. POLITICAL PARTY?
    I've had several. Used to make donkey- and elephant-shaped Jell-O shots. Those were good times.
28. KISSES OR HUGS?
    always better together
29. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
    what do I have, or what do I prefer?
30. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
    groceries, and before that I made a "plant stuff" run, picking up some pots and saucers. I've got a couple of avocados to try!
31. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSE SPOUSE?
    not hardly. Besides the complete and utter impossibility of such a thing, who would pay the bills? And anyway, I'd be bored to death.
32. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
    I've got four started:
    • A Storm of Swords (George R.R. Martin--it's book 3 of A Song of Ice and Fire)
    • Touch: Poems (by Henri Cole)
    • Lamb (a novel by Bonnie Nadzam), and
    • a re-read of The Bobby Gold Stories (by Anthony Bourdain).
33. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:
    ugh, must we? At the moment it's more hypothetical than real. Which, now that I think on it, is probably for the best.

[from The Cat, who got it here]

happy, lonely, who can say which--

Almost 8 A.M., curtain drawn shut, lying in bed naked:

it's not the same as sex,
but close
as a door slams,
a shoe crunches on gravel,
walking away.
Then the long afterward of lying still--
happy, lonely,
who can say which--
the world
just as it is, and the lover too,
just so.

[Jim Moore, 'In the Long Afterward', from Invisible Strings: Poems]