goodbye, summer: you were supposed to save us

I cannot wait for fall parties. 

The invitations have begun to roll in. 

 

I used to think I loved summer parties 

until they got this year so sweaty and sad, 

 

the whole world away at the shore, 

sunk in sweet and salt. 

 

Goodbye, summer: 

you were supposed to save us 

 

from spring but everyone just slumped 

into you, sad sacks 

 

pulling the shade down on an afternoon 

of a few too many rounds. 

 

Well, I won’t have another. 

I’ll have fall. The fall of parties 

 

for no reason, of shivering rooftops, 

scuffed boots, scarves with cigarette holes. 

 

I’ll warm your house. 

I’ll snort your mulling spices. 

 

I’ll stay too late, I’ll go on a beer run, 

I’ll do anything 

 

to stay in your dimly lit rooms 

scrubbed clean of all their pity. 

 

[Becca Klaver, 'Fall Parties'. Originally published in Poem-a-Day]

how do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment

1 Who has been the most significant love in your life? 

     I cringe from positive superlatives, especially for nebulous ideas. It's impossible to quantitatively compare the significance of my first love, to that of my only spouse, to that of my most recent relationship, to that of the one that got away.

    Right now, my impression is that the most important loves of my life have been cats. Their affection and trust and loyalty cannot be found in the human world. Their ability to receive affection is unsurpassed. Their sturdy, warm presence is a balm. 

    If one contrasts that to anyone in my romantic history, it ought to be obvious why I prefer the 4-legged to the 2-legged version.  

 

2 How do you communicate your feelings in a relationship? 

    a series of eyebrow-raises that are a very evocative semaphore language 

 

3 What is the difference between infatuation and love? 

     it's the difference between liking a dish someone else brings to a potluck, and getting the recipe and learning to make it for yourself. 

    It's the difference between admiring someone's haircut and paying a stylist to give it to you.

    It's the difference between appreciating the view as you walk along the river, and jumping in.

 

4 Is love necessary for happiness? 

    I don't know, because I've never been without it. Maybe not in a romantic way, but I have always been loved, and always known it.  

 

5 How do you show appreciation in your relationships? 

    say the words, and back it up with choices like being present, being still and listening. Less often, I'll write it. Recent events have soured cards and letters for me. Maybe that desire will come back someday but for now it's a degree of vulnerability and futility that I really can't stomach.

 

6 How does love evolve over time? 

    that answer is as complicated as love itself, and has as many unique answers as there are unique loves in existence or memory.

    Good loves evolve by expanding. More experiences, more comfort and care and ease. More challenges and shared loss. More mutual acquaintances, friends, family, and animals with whom and about whom to grow and learn and be nurtured. More and better forgiveness and openness to difference. 

    The other kind of love devolves by reducing. Pinpoint accuracy in recalling past hurts. Focus on the negative, the difficult, and the pointless. More meanness, in both senses of the word (inconsideration, and stinginess). Smaller margin for error. Less acceptance of small mistakes or poor choices. 

 

7 Do you believe in soulmates? 

    I believe that there are people whose presence in one's life is meant to be. Beyond that, who knows.  

 

[from here; the title quotation is by Eckhart Tolle, from A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose]

you're a crazy man, but not so stupid

Average rating: 8

Sunset Boulevard (1950) - "An aging silent film queen refuses to accept that her stardom has ended. She hires a young screenwriter to help set up her movie comeback. The screenwriter believes he can manipulate her, but he soon finds out he is wrong. The screenwriters ambivalence about their relationship and her unwillingness to let go leads to a situation of violence, madness, and death."
length: 1 hour, 50 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: it's been too long since I've seen it, and I finally managed to find a copy for myself

    previously reviewed here
IMDB: 8.4/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 98% Audience: 95%
my IMDB: 10/10

AFI: 100 Years ... 100 Movies (original list 1998) #12

         100 Years ... 100 Movies (10th anniversary edition 2007) #16

MPAA rating: Approved

notable quote: "Nothing, madam. Somebody inquiring about a stray dog."

directed by: Billy Wilder

my notes: this film is highly celebrated, for good reason. William Holden is fantastic. Gloria Swanson is a force of nature. And Erich von Stroheim, as Max... I've never been punched in the face (yet), but his performance comes pretty damned close.

    Roger Ebert's review is here, with which I firmly agree.

Academy Award winner:
• Best Writing, Story and Screenplay—Charles Brackett, Billy Wilder, D.M. Marshman, Jr.

• Best Art Direction—Set Decoration, Black and White

• Best Music, Scoring of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Actor—William Holden (Joe Gilles)

• Best Actress—Swanson

• Best Supporting Actor—Erich von Stroheim (Max Von Mayerling)

• Best Supporting Actress—Nancy Olson (Betty Schaefer)

• Best Director—Billy Wilder

• Best Cinematography, Black and White

• Best Film Editing

• Best Picture

overall: most highly recommended

 

Hard Boiled {Lat sau san taam} (1992) - "Violence as poetry, rendered by a master—brilliant and passionate, John Woo’s Hard Boiled tells the story of jaded detective 'Tequila' Yuen (played with controlled fury by Chow Yun-fat). Woo’s dizzying odyssey through the world of Hong Kong Triads, undercover agents, and frenzied police raids culminates unforgettably in the breathless hospital sequence. More than a cops-and-bad-guys story, Hard Boiled continually startles with its originality and dark humor."
length: 2 hours, 8 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: I hadn't seen it, and was very intrigued
IMDB: 7.7/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 92% Audience: 92%
my IMDB: 8/10

MPAA rating: R

notable quote: "You're your own worst enemy! If you can't conquer your own fears, how can you conquer anyone else?!"

directed by: John Woo

my notes: probably the most explicitly violent film I've ever seen, this is such nonstop action that I needed eye drops—I kept neglecting to blink. Absolutely crazy action, in the form of gunfights, fistfights (and some pretty sweet slaps), explosions, a lot of fire, and an insult or two. 

    Of course, I love Tony Leung Chui-wai, and he's really good here, both strong and vulnerable. And gorgeous. I even liked Chow-Yun Fat, who can be a hard sell for me.    

    It's almost impossible to imagine sleeping after seeing this film. SO good.  

    The RogerEbert.com interview with John Woo is here.

overall: highly recommended

Safe (2012) - "Luke Wright is a two-bit cage fighter, until the day he refuses to throw a match. In retaliation, the Russian mob murders his family and destroys his life. Though alone and haunted by grief, Luke springs into action to save a Chinese girl (Catherine Chan) from the same gangsters who killed his family—and lands in the middle of a high-stakes war. The girl is no ordinary child; she's a math prodigy who holds in her head a numerical code for which various factions are ready to kill."
length: 1 hour, 34 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: Jason Statham feels like a member of the family

    previously reviewed here
IMDB: 6.5/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 59% Audience: 59%
my IMDB: 8/10

MPAA rating: R

notable quote: "When I'm done, you won't even be a memory of a memory."

directed by: Boaz Yakin

my notes: maybe the most purely physical Statham movie, he really shines as a cage fighter who is also profoundly deadly with a firearm. The subway scene is terrific. And he can kill a guy with a fork.

    And Statham is drop-dead handsome in a dress shirt and jacket. He also speaks believable Russian. 

    This film has some great villains, easy to hate.  

overall: strongly recommended

Fletch (1985) - "A veritable chameleon, investigative reporter Irwin "Fletch" Fletcher (Chevy Chase) might drive his editor (Richard Libertini) up the wall, but he always produces great pieces for the newspaper. When his next story is about the drug trade taking place on the beach, Fletch goes undercover as a homeless man. Unaware of Fletch's true identity, businessman Alan Stanwyk (Tim Matheson) offers Fletch $50,000 to kill him. Intrigued, Fletch decides to unearth the full story behind the offer."
length: 1 hour, 38 minutes

source: I own the DVD
I watched it because: it was a favorite in high school, of which a friend reminded me today

    previously reviewed here
IMDB: 6.9/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: N/A% Audience: N/A%
my IMDB: 6/10

MPAA rating: PG

notable quote: "Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo."

directed by: Michael Ritchie

my notes: it's silly, and Chevy's droll delivery is kind of a one-note song. But the story is still funny, and the supporting cast is fun, and I like it well enough.

    Roger Ebert's review is here, with which I would like to agree more. 

overall:  mildly recommended

 

[the title quotation is from Safe]

I can’t distinguish between what’s platonic and what isn’t, because it’s all too much and not enough at the same time

1. If you could have one piece of jewelry belonging to someone you know personally, what would you pick? 

    feh. If I want it, I can buy it for myself. I'm not going to snatch something of someone else's. 

    Also, my friends and family tend more toward the dangling and eye-catching, while my taste in jewelry is a single stone in a stud earring or on a chain. 

 

2. If you could ask your best friend one question you have never had the nerve to ask, what would it be? 

     "what is it about me that makes me worthy of friend-ness?" 

 

3. If you could guarantee the happiness of any single person in the world because they most deserve it, who would it be? 

    this is a dangerous question. It presumes that happiness is The Goal, and that some people don't deserve it. Anyway, happiness isn't as perfect as it seems to be. There are lumps in it.

 

4. If you could have had your mind changed on one issue or decision in your lifetime, what would it have been? 

    the value of staying in shape, when I was in my early 20s. Newly married. I was eating well-made food designed just for my taste, or being treated to dinner, often (meaning, I was a little spoiled). I was lazy, satisfied, and convinced that I'd "earned"...whatever. A treat. Ice cream at the fantastic place in town. Parmesan breadsticks with the pizza order. Crispy M&Ms. Years without intentional exercise. 

    I'm paying the price now, and it sucks that it could have been avoided.  

 

5. If you could receive more affection from someone you know from now on, who would you want it to be from? 

    I'd like to be missed, and to be told that I've been missed, by someone who's not capable of saying it. To be fair, they probably think that it wouldn't be welcome. We haven't talked in a year or so, and things had been a little weird before that, even. Still, we've known each other since we were kids, and always had a connection, and could pick up where we left off if we both gave it some effort and humility.

 

6. If you could have the vocabulary of any person you know, who would you pick? 

    Hal Hartley. The dialog of his movies is phenomenal.

 

7. If you could be caressed by the hands of any person you have known platonically, whose would they be? 

    the animal-brained lawyer, or one of my other attorneys—and, of course, that all depends on the definition of "platonically" 

 

[from If2: 500 New Questions for the game of life; the title quotation is from Jack Kerouac]

little burn on the leaves, little love declaration; little dull light

Fuck the hot autumns of Charleston, fuck handsome 

 

 

Alabama, fuck the Deep South alcoholics 

 

standing in flannel in the summer sun. I drove north. 

 

 

I took Green Road to Hubbardsville 

 

and saw October in August, booted men hosing grit 

 

 

off the park pool’s bottom, crisp leaves lifted 

 

like the remnants of summer’s collective memory. 

 

 

I drove out or into it listening to the Liverpool Choir’s 

 

mournful version of the national anthem, the tuning forks 

 

 

of eastern townships bringing a Stravinsky more film score 

 

then symphony. I wanted the blaze of the unmuffled 

 

 

trumpet, the spin song of the laundromat, a little of the hurricane’s 

 

Guernican remedy in the streeted leaves, in the blooms 

 

 

of glass from kids breaking fluorescent 

 

light tubes in the spent vocabulary 

 

 

of an asphalt parking lot. I wanted 

 

October: lace trim of a black dress slumped 

 

 

on the floor of my birthday, cold skin 

 

and laughter. Little burn on the leaves, little love 

 

 

declaration; little dull light in the white sky. 

 

[Grady Chambers 'Syracuse, October', from North American Stadiums]

 

[and yep, it's really 'then'] 

why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t f–king cook it!

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow.🤨

 

🍕 What’s Your Friendship Flavor? 

 

Friendships are like food—comforting, energizing, sometimes surprising. 

Which flavor are you serving up in your circle?

---

1. Your friends count on you for… 

    A) Reliable support. 

    B) A good laugh. 

    C) Deep talks. 

    D) Wild plans. 

 

2. You feel most “in sync” when… 

    A) Doing everyday routines together. 

    B) Sharing a funny meme at the right time. 

    C) Staying up too late talking about life. 

    D) Spontaneously hitting the road. 

 

3. Your go-to comfort food is… 

    A) Mac & cheese. 

    B) Popcorn. 

    C) Chocolate. 

    D) Tacos. 

 

4. A friend cancels at the last minute—you… 

    A) Wish them well and reschedule. 

    B) Tease them but forgive quickly. 

    C) Check in to make sure they’re okay. 

    D) Rope someone else into the plan. 

 

5. If you were a snack at a party, you’d be… 

    A) Chips & dip. 

    B) Cupcakes.      

    C) Cheese plate. 

    D) Jalapeño poppers. 

 

Results in the comments! 

 

[the title quotation is by Gordon Ramsey]

when you've suffered a great deal in life, each additional pain is both unbearable and trifling

Book Review 

 

Rating * * * * 

 

Title: Life of Pi

 

Author: Man Booker Prize-winning Canadian Yann Martel

 

Published: this novel was published in 2001; I listened to the unabridged audiobook (HighBridge; read by Jeff Woodman and Alexander Marshall; 13 hours) 

 

What is the story? 

    After the sinking of a cargo ship, a solitary lifeboat remains bobbing on the wild blue Pacific. The only survivors from the wreck are a sixteen-year-old boy named Pi, a hyena, a wounded zebra, an orangutan—and a 450-pound Royal Bengal tiger.
    Soon the tiger has dispatched all but Pi Patel, whose fear, knowledge, and cunning allow him to coexist with the tiger, Richard Parker, for 227 days while lost at sea.
    The Japanese authorities who interrogate Pi refuse to believe his story and press him to tell them "the truth." After hours of coercion, Pi tells a second story, a story much less fantastical, much more conventional—but is it more true?
    Life of Pi is at once a realistic, rousing adventure and a meta-tale of survival that explores the redemptive power of storytelling and the transformative nature of fiction. It's a story, as one character puts it, to make you believe in God. --from Amazon.com 

What type of language does it use—technical, complex, standard, or colloquial? standard and some colloquial. 

 

Does the level of language make it easy or difficult for the reader to follow? it is easy to follow, an organic and personal story that really flows (meaning, I often read longer than intended. Just one more chapter!)

 

Did you like this book? I did, but it was odd—this is one of the few times that I liked the movie more than the book. It may have been different if I'd read the book first, though. The picture that I had in my head didn't quite match what's on the page. 

 

If you could change something, what would it be? the occasional mini-lectures on running a zoo, animal behavior, and religion were refreshing and interesting to me. I would have liked more of them. 

 

What was your favourite part? the scene where Richard Parker's name is explained, which came just at the right point in the story to have ample curiosity built up, and anticipation relieved in an unexpected way

 

Who stands out, among the characters? Richard Parker, of course

 

What is your recommendation? this is a beautiful book, evocative and mesmerizing. I recommend it to those interested in animals (especially zoo creatures), Indian culture, sea travel, and loss. There are moments of upsetting content, and they appear unexpectedly; sensitive readers should be forewarned.

 

5 adjectives you would use to describe this text: magical, strange, lush, heartrending, captivating

 

[book review template 5 adapted from here; the title quotation is from the book]

the chance Of one sweet, mad, last hour

Bending above the spicy woods which blaze, 

Arch skies so blue they flash, and hold the sun 

Immeasurably far; the waters run 

Too slow, so freighted are the river-ways 

With gold of elms and birches from the maze 

Of forests. Chestnuts, clicking one by one, 

Escape from satin burs; her fringes done, 

The gentian spreads them out in sunny days, 

And, like late revelers at dawn, the chance 

Of one sweet, mad, last hour, all things assail, 

And conquering, flush and spin; while, to enhance 

The spell, by sunset door, wrapped in a veil 

Of red and purple mists, the summer, pale, 

Steals back alone for one more song and dance. 

 

[Helen Hunt Jackson {1830-1885} 'October'. This poem is in the public domain.]

we ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters

1. Who in your extended family makes you laugh the hardest and why? 

    my mom's next-younger sister, from whom I got my middle name. She is a joyful, earthy, irreverent weirdo with a wicked sense of humor and almost zero filter. There is a photograph of her in an album at my parents', showing her laughing so hard that tears have pooled in her eyes, with one hand up as if to wave away the camera. Just thinking of that picture can make me laugh aloud.

    This aunt is the one with whom my mom has been closest over the years. The relationship was my example of how sisters could be with each other. The contrast with how my life turned out is so strong.

 

2. Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person that was about them? 

    never. I have to be careful about that sort of thing when communicating at work—some topics really are strictly confidential—and it's spilled over into my private life as well. Before sending anything, I verify the recipient.

 

3. What is your honest opinion about your first kiss? 

    mild regret, I suppose, and a little smidge of dismay. If I could go back, I'd have saved it up for a better moment, and definitely a better partner, than the one I chose. It wasn't a terrible kiss, and the circumstances could have been way worse. I just wish it had been with someone I genuinely liked afterward. 

 

4. What’s the funniest thing that happened at a family wedding? 

    this is funny only in retrospect! 

    I'd been chosen (i.e. "volunteered") to serve punch at a cousin's wedding reception. Given my vast numbers of cousins, this wasn't a rare occurrence and I really didn't give it a second thought until the day of... which happened to follow a night of heavy drinking and heavy making out. I guess I didn't realize how heavy it all was until after I'd showered and dressed and then looked in the mirror, only to find what appeared to be a shark bite on my neck. After considering and rejecting various methods of concealment such as hair-over-one-shoulder, makeup, bandage, or jaunty scarf, I ended up with the classic turtleneck and shorts ensemble that's ever so appropriate on a Midwestern summer day. I looked ridiculous but did not look like I'd been doing what I'd been doing the night before. Success!

 

5. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done for love? 

    besides going to a family wedding with a shark bite? Oh, God: it's the mix CD I made for the animal-brained lawyer, which is so mortifyingly direct that it still makes my cheeks burn to recall it. He, as always, responded with aloof amusement that approached indifference, and has not mentioned it since then. Gaahhhh

 

6. What’s the worst hairstyle you ever had? 

    there was a phase in maybe 8th grade where my hair looked like it came from another planet. It was probably not the fault of the stylist but a combination of a sudden burst of hormones, the terrible hair choices of the era (hello, Sun-In and tight perms), and my complete inability to style my own hair. My naturally light brown hair was a sort of orange-beige that does not exist in nature. My normally straight hair was wound into not-quite-poodle-tight curls that reached just above my shoulders. And my typically healthy, albeit fine, hair was dry and split. Liberal application of a high-quality conditioner could have resolved a lot of it, but it lasted like that for probably half the school year. 

 

7. Describe the circumstances around the biggest lie you’ve ever told without getting caught. 

    I was involved with someone whose presence in my life I could only vaguely explain, because any clearer truth would have been abhorrent to the listeners and emotionally difficult for me. And the secret was not mine to tell. That meant I was constantly on the edge of saying too much, or the wrong thing—or holding back precisely what I needed to talk about. Courting danger.

 

8. What’s the silliest thing you have an emotional attachment to? 

     glancing around the room, I see many choices that would make good answers to this question. I think it's my tabletop groundhog. 

He sits on the bedside table in my guest room. He reminds me of friends, laughter, and being loved even long-distance. 

 

[from here, divided and adapted; the title quotation is from the movie Groundhog Day]

the challenge will not wait. Life does not look back

The last 3 days have been unbelievable. 

On Friday, I woke at (6:30 AM) and worked the usual time (7AM-3PM). 

    It was an especially stressful day.

Immediately thereafter, headed out for a much-needed walk. 

Midway through the walk, got a text from a family member.

    Another family member was in a medical crisis. 

        Not an emergency, per se, but a situation where local healthcare would not do the job. 

They needed to go to an urban hospital and be seen via ER.

For reasons unrelated to those circumstances, I was needed to drive them.

 

I walked home (quickly), showered (in record time), and drove to their house.

We left at 4:50 PM. 

I arrived back home at 1:20 AM.

 

Saturday (yesterday) was similarly long.

I woke at the usual time (after about 4 hours in bed, sleeping prehaps half of that).

    Big brother picked me up for breakfast at 6:50 as is our practice on Saturdays.

We met the two from the Friday incident at 7:AM.

Came home and changed clothes.

    Met a friend to walk around the lake at 10:AM, as has been planned for a week.

Returned, showered, and got ready to once again accompany the others to the big city.

    Follow-up testing was needed, albeit not via ER this time.

However, they decided to go without my help. 

I remained in text contact throughout the day.

 

Today is Sunday. I went to bed last night a little before 9PM.

Woke a little after 7AM.

I still feel groggy and deeply tired, even after 10 hours' good sleep. 

And I feel guilty, for getting good sleep, and for not going along yesterday.

And I feel sad and scared because my family member has been in a lot of pain and faces some uncertainty.

And I feel concern for my other family member, who is a champion worrier.

 

It's been a really tough summer.

One of my best friends died.

    It was exceptionally traumatic. 

        I grieve his death every day. 

    As a direct result of this, a person I've cared about for a long time is lost from me. 

One of my family members has gone through a cancer diagnosis.

    They've survived what appears to be successful treatment.

Another family member has a very different cancer diagnosis.

    Their treatment options are limited, and survival is uncertain—or unlikely.

What I want most is to curl up into a ball, figuratively and literally.

There's no time for that. 

 

The lessons?

    Surround yourself with the people you love.

    Tell them how you feel and what they mean, by whatever means you can.

    Time is limited; there is no 'someday'.

    If it needs doing, do it now. 

 

[the title quotation is by Paulo Coelho, from The Devil and Miss Prym]

a classic is a book that has never finished saying what it has to say

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow. 🤨

 

📚 Which Classic Book World Do You Belong In? 

 

Literature is full of places we secretly wish were home. 

Which fictional universe might claim you as one of its own?

---

1. A perfect afternoon includes… 

    A) Tea and quiet conversation. 

    B) Solving a puzzle or mystery. 

    C) Wandering in nature. 

    D) Debating bold ideas with friends. 

 

2. You’re known for your… 

    A) Grace and charm. 

    B) Sharp mind. 

    C) Sense of wonder. 

    D) Passion for change. 

 

3. Your dream house has… 

    A) A cozy parlor and library. 

    B) Hidden passageways. 

    C) A garden full of oddities. 

    D) A lively gathering room. 

 

4. If you were a character trait in a book, you’d be… 

    A) Kindness. 

    B) Curiosity. 

    C) Innocence. 

    D) Courage. 

 

5. Your favorite escape is… 

    A) A social dance. 

    B) A cryptic crossword. 

    C) Stargazing. 

    D) A political rally. 

 

Results in the comments! 

 

[the title quotation is by Italo Calvino, from The Uses of Literature]

it is the darkest days I’ve learned to praise

It is a goldfinch 

one of the two 

 

small girls,

both daughters 

 

of a friend, 

sees hit the window 

 

and fall into the fern. 

No one hears 

 

the small thump but she, 

the youngest, sees 

 

the flash of gold 

against the mica sky 

 

as the limp feathered envelope 

crumples into the green. 

 

How many times 

in a life will we witness 

 

the very moment of death? 

She wants a box 

 

and a small towel 

some kind of comfort 

 

for this soft body 

that barely fits 

 

in her palm. Its head 

rolling side to side, 

 

neck broke, eyes still wet 

and black as seed. 

 

Her sister, now at her side, 

wears a dress too thin 

 

for the season, 

white as the winter 

 

only weeks away. 

She wants me to help, 

 

wants a miracle. 

Whatever I say now 

 

I know weighs more 

than the late fall’s 

 

layered sky, 

the jeweled leaves 

 

of the maple and elm. 

I know, too, 

 

it is the darkest days 

I’ve learned to praise — 

 

the calendar packages up time,

the days shrink and fold away 

 

until the new season. 

We clothe, burn, 

 

then bury our dead. 

I know this; 

 

they do not. 

So we cover the bird, 

 

story its flight, 

imagine his beak 

 

singing. 

They pick the song 

 

and sing it 

over and over again. 

 

[Didi Jackson {1970- } 'Fall', from Poem-a-Day]

I will touch a hundred flowers and not pick one

1. Of all the gardening tools and gadgets you own, which one do you most enjoy using? 

    a tiny pair of gardening shears, maybe 3 inches end-to end, that came with an ill-fated herb garden that grew like crazy until I tried to harvest, and then every plant gave up the fight. They were the little afterthought, included in a burlap bag of miniaturized implements, but they ended up being the biggest treat of all. I use them all the time. In fact, one of my favorite "multitasking" activities when I'm on the phone is to dead-head and prune my plants using these shears. I also use that time to water the plants, rotate them so they get even sunlight, and so forth. Very therapeutic.

 

2. If you were stranded on a deserted island, which three people would you most want to have join you? 

    • big brother, because he could create, construct, and use everything we needed

    • my massage therapist from the Flatland, who besides being excellent at her job is also wonderful company

    • The Intern, the best option to design the structures and make us all laugh

 

3. Who's the most famous person you have ever met? What famous person would you most like to meet? 

     Feh. I think I've covered this one several times, so I'm going to use it as a FREE SPACE and share something else.

    My birthday is not long past. This year it was a very, very quiet occasion, mostly because I wasn't bringing it up beforehand (no "gimme gimme" post here, for instance!) and didn't encourage anyone else's efforts along that line, either. Many friends sent text or FB messages, one sent a card through the mail, and some family gave presents. 

    Then, a couple of days after, I got a text from my friend whose family bought my (previous) house: there was a package there for me. I knew immediately what it was, and who had sent it. Yay! 

    It was even better than I'd anticipated. Filled with treats of all kinds, and postcards for my collection and use, opening and unloading that package was an incredible joy. The person who sent it—who is reading here, and hopefully who will see this!—knows me very well. I was smiling for days after, and smirking off and on as well.  Thank you, G.!

 

4. How many times have you had stitches, and what were the circumstances? 

    I've never, with the exception of the dissolving kind after having teeth pulled as a kid. There's at least one time that they would have been appropriate, but I was not in proper condition to seek that treatment. (See this post for the gory details.) 

 

5. When did you last have fresh flowers in your home? 

    I've gotten out of the habit of buying them, so it's been quite some time. Maybe two years? Probably more? I am surrounded by houseplants, several of which bloom now and then. That mitigates the effect of no cut flowers around. 

 

6. What is the difference between knowing a lot of facts about a person and knowing someone personally?  

    it's the difference between reading a recipe and tasting the finished dish.

 

7. Do you care more about pleasing people or speaking the truth? 

    there is a third option available: I care most about being left alone. I'm not interested in "pleasing people" in a general sense, though I'm most content when my family and friends are happy. I'm also not interested in "speaking the truth", as that tends to be a magnet for other peoples' drama. 

    However, I've come to realize that, for the first time in several years, I feel completely free to express my political opinions when among friends and even on the blog now and then. It's a surprising feeling, making my realize how much I've censored, to keep from making waves. I've missed my waves.

 

[from The Complete Book of Questions : 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion; the title quotation is by Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Afternoon on a Hill"]