When normal women wear all black, they look sleek, sophisticated, and slightly mysterious.

I wear all black, and I get this:
* "What's this, your 'Johnny Cash look'?"
* "Are you in mourning?"
* "Headin' to a poetry reading?"

When normal people lose weight, they get compliments or requests for advice.

When I lost weight (or, more accurately, when someone sees me for the first time since I've been lighter), I get this:
* "Oh my God."
* "You look great--what happened?!"
* "You should've done this long ago!"

When normal people plan a party and put "R.S.V.P." at the bottom of the invitation, they get calls or emails from the people that they invited, giving a "yea" or a "nay".

When I write "R.S.V.P." at the bottom of an invitation, I get this:
* [blank stare]
* casual, verbal, offhand, "I'll be there if I can"
* actual replies from the two people that I knew would be there, regardless.

Abnormal, indeed.

[Note: 1 month 'til my birthday! You may begin shopping!]

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