I've sunk to a new personal low. I spent part of this 90+° day in the back parking lot of my apartment building--sitting on the pavement--eating marshmallows straight from the bag (the standard-sized ones, not minis) while my boyfriend smoked. He was wearing jeans: no shoes, no shirt, just jeans. I was in a t-shirt and the scruffiest, baggiest, ugliest shorts I own. And my birkies, which are forever dirty from being worn [in-]to the Lake.

It was the trashiest thing I've done in a long, long time, and it was great. I think I'm finally starting to figure out who I really am, in contrast to the person I've been trying (and failing) to be for a while now.

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