a sharp case of melancholia

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils,
because it prolongs the torments of man.
[Friedrich Nietzsche]--quoted in Martyn Waites' The Mercy Seat
    I'm listening to The Jake Mix (a subset of my favorite Semisonic songs from each of their albums), which never fails to bring me to a place of contemplation and subtle melancholy. The mix (in the original order off the CDs) starts with a few fast songs, then brings me down quickly with "Temptation".

"Driving home in the dark I say, 'This time will be the last.'
I know what I should never do.
At least I'll keep temptation's photograph,
Maybe hang onto her phone number, too...."
    The mood goes back up briefly, but slips down again with "In Another Life."

"When you finally tend to your blessings
You'd be mistaken to count on me, o yeah
Because you believed we'd do our loving
In another life
Darling--too late: I'm done waiting."
    Then there are several that bring me out of it, but the bottom drops out with "Gone to the Movies":

Now the rain comes down the windows and it
Drops onto the forehead of the waiting boy
He surveys his rental kingdom and he
Wonders if he's really lost his one joy

Another fool would go down to the
Only place she ever went to lose herself
She's gone to the movies now and she
Don't need your help

Now the rain turns into snowfall as the
City sky reflects the silver street below
And it covers up the cars and the Wall-
Flowers CD ended half an hour ago

Another fool would dig the broken car out from the snow
And drive to find the show
She's gone to the movies now and she's
Not coming home
She's gone to the movies now and she's
Not coming home

Now he looks around his place and anyways
There's nowhere she could sit besides the bed
And he wonders if the car will start tomorrow
Or he'll have to take the bus instead

Any other fool would be out on the roadway
Trying to spot her rusted Pontiac
She's gone to the movies now and she's
Not coming back
She's gone to the movies now and she's
Not coming back
    Waaaaaaah!
     After that, I wallow through "I Wish" and "One True Love"

And in the middle of everyone
I still find myself with my thoughts alone
And in the middle of all the noise
Look around myself at the shining toys that
I don't need
I don't need
I don't really need
    And it ends with "El Matador"--my favorite of their songs, the sweetest and most tender, the saddest and most real. Growing up, moving on. Alone.

Seaside revelations
All those dreams and visions of mine
Washed up like a vacation
Lost as I wasted my time

Looking through my dark glasses
I see smiles on the faces of friends
But time keeps pushing me on now
And I'll ride this wave till the end

Please don't go away
Stay awhile, stay awhile...