it don't feel wrong

Going through the motions, pretending to be
The man you used to see in me, baby
You don't want to hurt me so you play along
And it don't feel right, and it don't feel wrong
It just feels like a memory
Barely alive
When will we let it die?
    My weekend was strange and dichotomous. Cold, hot. Sad, happy, angry. Quiet, loud. I felt almost like myself again, for at least 146 minutes on Friday.

Where do you run?
Where do you hide
After a promise breaks?
Who'll be the one
To say goodbye?
And who'll be the one to stay
When love fades?
    I used to shop for Christmas early, and well. I would have a serious list that I would work on for a month or two before the holidays started. I would order online and from catalogs. I would go to any number of stores. I would always find the perfect gift.
    Lately, I shop closer and closer to the day that I give the gift. I can't be troubled to think ahead. I have an idea, but if I don't end up finding that particular item, eh, no problem. Whatever else will do.
    This year, though, I've been working further ahead. I have a decent start on several people. One is practically done. I've acquired several items for one person with whom I seriously doubt that I will be exchanging gifts, unfortunately, and they are the sorts of things that really cannot be given to anyone else.
    One of a kind.
    Seems like that kind of year.

How are we gonna let go of something that's gone?
Ain't it funny how a broken heart just keeps hangin' on,
baby?
You watched me walk away
And I set you free
But I come back to you and you come back to me
I guess it beats being lonely that's the reason why
We give it one more try...
[Toby Keith - When Love Fades]