it may mean that I'm a cheating Spanish gnome

Your result for The Fidelity Test...    Captain Speculation

You scored 100% Practical Fidelity, 47% Theoretical Fidelity, and 100% Communication!

You may have thoughts of cheating, and may even talk about this with your partner, but don't follow through with them. It may be that you've got a strong will or sense of ethic that knocks these cravings into submission. It may be worth investigating why you spend this much time thinking about being with someone other than your partner.

Take The Fidelity Test at HelloQuizzy

I am, indeed, "Captain Speculation."

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Your result for The Monty Python Character Test...    Cardinal Ximinez

You scored 77 Stubborn, 52 Crazy, 36 Aggressive, and 51 Evil!

Horrid crazy man. (In the middle).

Appearance: Monty Python's Flying Circus

High Light: "The Spanish Inquisition"

'IN THE EARLY YEARS OF THE SIXTEENTH CENTURY, TO COMBAT THE RISING TIDE OF RELIGIOUS UNORTHODOXY, THE POPE GAVE CARDINAL XIMINEZ OF SPAIN LEAVE TO MOVE WITHOUT LET OR HINDRANCE THROUGHOUT THE LAND, IN A REIGN OF VIOLENCE, TERROR AND TORTURE THAT MAKES A SMASHING FILM. THIS WAS THE SPANISH INQUISITION . . .'

(Torchlit dungeon. We hear clanging footsteps. Shadows on the Grille. The footsteps stop and keys jangle. The great door creaks open and Ximinez walks in and looks round approvingly. Fang and Biggles enter behind pushing in the dear old lady. They chain her to the wall.)

Ximinez: Now, old woman! You are accused of heresy on three counts. Heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action. Four counts. Do you confess?
Old Lady: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
(JARRING CHORD - Biggles holds out two ordinary modern household cushions)
Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Old Lady: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
(Biggles carries out this rather pathetic torture)
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez: (angrily hurling away the cushions) Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!
(JARRING CHORD - Zoom into Fang's horrified face)
Fang: (terrified) The...Comfy Chair?
(Biggles pushes in a comfy chair -- a really plush one)
Ximinez: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!
(They roughly push her into the Comfy Chair)
Ximinez: (with a cruel leer) Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. (aside, to Biggles) Is that really all it is?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez: I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Confess, woman. Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: I confess!
Ximinez: Not you!

Take The Monty Python Character Test at HelloQuizzy

Um. Er.

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Your result for The Lawn Gnome Test... 10 Stationariness, 24 Gnomeness, 21 Fazmatics, 44 Sprinklefods

Gnomes are a peculiar race of beings, here is what your scores mean!

Stationariness: Any good lawn gnome KNOWS that standing very still is a quality most sought after in the gnomish community. A high score in stationariness proves that you are ready to move from the back lawn to the front yard!
Gnomeness: This is a representation of your overall Gnome-like attitude. A high score in this means you'll be a hit at just about any ice-cream gnome social!
Fazmatics: Gnomes that are Fazmatic have proven to be of the more violent variety. This is useful to people who have lots of pests and critters that eat their grass, or cherry tomatoes. Keeping a Lawn Gnome with high Fazmaticness is a great idea if the salvation of ones garden is in jeopardy.
Sprinklefods: A Lawn Gnome with lots of Sprinklefod is the kind of buddy you want around if your lawn is sickly, or your plants are weary. Just plug his bungus into a water-hose or some other life-giving device, and watch your land grow with the love only a Gnomely Sprinklefod can give!

Take The Lawn Gnome Test at HelloQuizzy

Is there no end to the madness?