that's a mighty long time

Tomorrow is a year since Brian-from-Madtown's first contact.
He may have changed me more than Nick did.
He may have made it possible for me to change the way that I thought about Nick.
I don't believe that it will happen anymore.
I still hope that it might, but I'm an ocean away from that kind of faith - in love, in myself, in benevolence and gentleness at work.
Am I really so different?
I am less afraid. More blasé. Both less and more willing, depending upon the action. More concerned about the health & happiness of my friends. Less concerned about my own general responsibility. Funnier. Smarter. Much more sleepy. Steadily invested in the same guy for the last 11 months or so. More independent. More solitary.