how to drink vodka

[from A Cook's Tour: Global Adventures in Extreme Cuisines by Anthony Bourdain - the part where he was in Russia]

    First, if at all possible, make sure you have food present. Even a simple crust of bread will do. ...
    Step one...is the toast. To others present, to your parents, to your country--anything will do. Hold a full shot of vodka in one hand and food--bread is easiest--in the other hand. Exhale. Inhale slowly. Knock back your entire shot in one gulp, immediately inverting your glass over the table to allow the microscopic last drop to fall out, proving you're not a wuss or a reactionary revanchist Trotskyite provocateur.
    Then take a bite of food. If you don't have any food, a long, lingering sniff of your wrist or cuff will do. (I know it sounds strange, but trust me.) Repeat the procedure up to three times every twenty minutes throughout the drinking period. This is about as fast as your system can absorb all that alcohol. If you follow this regimen carefully, you can and will retain a state of verticality throughout the entire meal and into the postmeal drinking.
    In all likelihood, you will make it away from the table without disgracing yourself. You will probably make it home without help. After that, however, you're on your own. Remember: They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jäger shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you think you are, don't forget that the Russians--any Russian--can drink you under the table.
    Be prepared, by the way, no matter how bad you might feel when you wake up, to do it again--with breakfast.

I love this guy. Great book, too.