9.15.2010

navigated past the point of logical thinking

Hell of a day, in a week that I'll be eager to put behind me. I woke this morning at 8:10. That's not an unworkable time to crack an eye, even considering that it left only 20 minutes to accomplish everything and get myself to the usual destination. This morning, it was not to be. I only sat back for a moment to consider what to wear.... I woke for real (and a "fuuuck") at 8:27. Still, was in my desk at 8:54. They should start giving me an award for this, right? Right. I know.

I haven't slept well for days. Maybe a week. Too many dreams of being hunted like an animal, breaking limbs and being shot at, scrambling to find the safest spot in my apt. to hide out while I wait for armed backup (and from a sleepy-eyed sharpshooter? WTF?). I feel like I've been through a battle.

On the top of a heap of problems that need fixing: I need a lot of money, fast. I'm literally sorting my possessions (mentally, at the moment) to determine what I can unload in a hurry, and at minimum loss. It's a surreal, pathetic, scary way to look at life. And a lot of people have advice, but so far no one's come up with any actual help. I'm already full up with advice.

The rest of it--the other problems, the guilt and pressure and friendly or not-so-friendly suggestions--is just weighing on me, and today it broke. By about noon, my head was pounding. It was the first full migraine I've had in a month or so. In an amazing coincidence, I was scheduled to leave work early, so I had a couple of hours to relax during which I would typically build up more stress. And I'm also exhausted, so that helps. A nice, deep, dreamless (and uninterrupted, please) sleep would be just the thing tonight. [Johnnie: as always, the preceding parenthetical does not apply to you.]

One more thing, below, for The Cat. Do you think that it's the same one???
the golden-toothed fool

3 comments:

  1. Just curious - what's a lot of money? a)iPhone, b)iPad, c)iBook, d)iNewHondaCivic, e)iNewPorchePanamera, f) iMore

    What's fast? a)past deadline, b)Monday, c) End of Month, d) before Halloween.

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  2. The B-word is actually on your blog. But, that's pretty high still. ROFLMAO

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  3. R: iPanama, before the revolution ;)

    C: no doubt! It puts all my Zen commenters to shame (numerically, anyway).
    The top-rated Asian country also seemed curious. I do love me some stats.

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