having been both, I can’t be either

March 13: chicane

No more chicanery; if it doesn't come to me the right way 'round, then it's not meant to be.

March 14: lacuna

Is it too much to say, that I've come to realize that you're the lacuna in my heart?

 

Volume III of a continuing series of interviews from my friend BGM over at Sledding with Rosebud...

1. One of my favorite shows, Black Books, has a main male character who is a misanthrope, yet somehow endearing. The same goes for House. That seems to be a recurring theme in many shows and movies. Do you believe it is possible for a female character to be misanthropic and yet endearing?
   ah, but it seems that you're assuming that I agree that it's possible for a male character to be a misanthrope and also endearing! I've not seen Black Books, so I have to leave that aside.
   House...House is a problem. I'd seen a few episodes here and there, thought I kind of liked the extraordinarily high intellectual level of the show--and I adore Robert Sean Leonard--so I decided to give it a closer viewing. I bought the first season on DVD, and before I was through the first disc I'd bought the second season. And so forth, through six seasons. I watched every moment (and many more than once, to gather every nuance). And then I stopped. Because those characters...they are AWFUL to each other! None of them has a shred of decency or compassion or realism; none of them could survive in the world, treating other people so wretchedly. And to pretend that they are colleagues, and friends! And lovers, and spouses! It's beyond the pall. And the worst of them, of course, by far, is House. He rarely does anything decent at all (other than to save lives--and really, it's a small part skill and mostly luck, not compassion or concern, that leads him to do so). And when he does something terrible, and they pull one of those close-ups of his "regretful" face...UGH. Nope, it doesn't make up. "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience, and that is not learning from experience." [Laurence J. Peter]
   Those who cannot learn from experience are socially impaired.
   As with so many of the questions you've posited, I can't really answer this one in the way it was presented--I don't think? Maybe it's a function of my age, or my profoundly concrete single-ness, or my education, or my frustration with having appreciated House on certain levels but coming to completely despair of it to the degree that I cannot stand to watch another moment...but misanthropy just isn't appealing at all.
2. Have you ever read a book and thought, 'I could write a better ending than that!' Is there a book you have read where you would either change the ending, or change the story to make it work more effectively?
   Squeeze Play, by Jane Leavy. The protagonist ends up with the wrong man! That makes it sound romance-y and lame, but it's an extraordinary book about baseball that I love with a passion, terrifically well-written and both hilarious and touching. Within the first quarter of the book, the main character--a female sportswriter--breaks up with her boyfriend (a famous news journalist) when he cheats on her with a fellow reporter. Along the way, she develops a relationship with a player on the baseball team that she's been assigned to follow. Inappropriate? Sure. "Inevitable"? Not hardly. But carefully written and well reasoned, it happens.
   And then, in the end, she bails on the good guy (hiding behind her job), and goes back to the cheater. It's one of those end-of-the-book tie-it-up-nicely-with-a-ribbon moments that make me want to chuck a book against the wall.
   That example was easy, but there are lots of others. Here's one that might get a comment or two: I HATE the dragons, in "A Song of Ice and Fire."
3. Because I found these so intriguing when you asked me... Choose or Die:
   
   • Car with no radio or car with no air conditioning
     no air conditioning. Easy enough to roll down the windows, yes? And I would go bonkers on a trip of any length with no music.
   • Great Sense of Humor or Highly Intelligent and Conversant
     presuming that this is a quality in a theoretical significant other...
     holy crap, I don't know. My former spouse was the epitome of Highly Intelligent and Conversant. We had profoundly rewarding conversations right up until the end of our marriage.
     And then I dated Nick, who had (at times) a Great Sense of Humor. He was delightful company—when he could be bothered to pay attention to me at all.
     I'll have to take "die" on this one!
   • Poetry or Prose
     prose. Surprised? I love poetry, but even I get a little weary by the end of April.
   • East Coast or West Coast
     ye gods. Let me start off with a disclaimer: I've never actually visited either coast, and some of my best friends, blah blah blah.
     I think I'm a right-coaster, temperamentally speaking, though I aspire toward left-ness. For that reason, I'm probably drawn more toward West Coasters. I wouldn't want to spend all my time surrounded by sunny people, but the alternative seems depressing.
   • Pancakes or Waffles
     pancakes. I do like a good waffle now and then, but pancakes stay warm longer!
4. When meeting someone new, what is the first physical feature you tend to notice?"
   eyes. I nearly fell backward down a flight of stairs today, thanks to this very experience.
5. Is there a word, that for one reason or another, you just simply do not like? If there is a particular reason, please feel free to share it.
   'schism'--and the reason is HORRIBLE and must remain untold. {{{shudder}}}

[the title quotation is by Jane Leavy, from Squeeze Play, and reads in its entirety: “I can’t imagine what he must be feeling; I can’t let myself. And I can’t do anything about it except make everything worse. I wasn’t supposed to be his lover. I wasn’t even supposed to be his friend. Now, having been both, I can’t be either....”]