life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do

Why is it in my nature to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed until midnight or later every night, but dragging at 8:whatever time I get up in the morning? I cannot be sleepy this early, so I can't get to bed, so I can't get enough sleep. It's like high school all over again.

Don't even get me started on the weird stuff I eat and the times of day that I'm hungry. All these visits to the dentist haven't helped at all, either.

People have been telling me for a long time that I'm "smart." I'm pretty sure that I don't even know what that means anymore. The sort of things that I know are losing relevance. We had a good run, though.

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend last night about how far we would go for money. It was (obviously) a totally fanciful discussion of where our ethical boundaries lie. Through that conversation and the mental wandering that I've done since then, I've come to realize that I am to some extent lucky. Many of my limits are external, thanks to my law license--I don't have to really think about a lot of gray areas, because I couldn't take any action (or leave any action undone) that could result in sanctions or the loss of my license. I just couldn't. What that says about me is another topic for another time.

Some of my morality comes by way of my upbringing; I am constitutionally unable to risk seriously disappointing or hurting my parents. Or even having them "find out"...things.

So, what's left? Is there any room for bad behavior?


In response to taking some flak for my reading habits last week, I decided to keep track of exactly what I read last weekend. Even I was surprised by the total.

Friday: finished two novels that I'd started earlier in the week, finished a book of poetry that I'd started the last weekend, and was halfway through another novel. Plus two magazines.
Saturday: finished the novel that I'd started Friday, read a book of poetry, and finished a mystery that I'd been rereading--and was partway through another novel. Plus another magazine.
Sunday: finished the novel that I'd started, read another book of poetry, and started another novel. Plus another magazine.

Total: 4 1/2 novels, 3 books of poetry, a mystery, and four magazines. In 3 days.

I've just discovered something truly heinous. Some websites no longer allow for the possibility of "sending" or even "emailing" information or content to oneself or others--it is now called "socializing." I don't even....

I've ordered a new winter coat. In part because I need one (my old black leather darling is getting scruffy and beat up, and is also more than a little bit too big) and in part because this is apparently the time of year to do it: it was less than half price, so even with shipping it was more than $200 less than I expected to pay for it. It should arrive within the next few days. I just hope the A/C is cranked when it shows up, so I'll have the psychic means to try it on!

My fixation on Nightly News with Brian Williams continues. I'm now working my way through some clips on YouTube. I particularly love this one, created by Jimmy Fallon's crew for the Tonight Show--in part because my nerd-girl crush features heavily.

[the title quotation is by Walter Bagehot]

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