how did you do that magic you did?

  1. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends? one of my grad school profs had been a recreational drug user "in his youth." We had a few conversations over the years that I knew him about his exploits, his questionable decision-making, his munchies (Cap'n Crunch and root beer was his combo of choice), and how much we both missed those days.
  2. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass? not really
  3. Write a question and answer it here. Have you ever wished you could split your future in two, and send half of yourself in the direction you had been going but the other half someplace completely new? Because it would be easier and better than making a decision that might make everyone at least a little unhappy? (The answer should be apparent.)
  4. Who is your favorite playwright? I don't love drama as an area of lit. I do have favorite plays. Off the top of my head, here are a few: Arms and the Man by G.B. Shaw, Company from the book by George Furth, and (sigh) Dracula by Steven Dietz.
  5. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in? anything with a superhero, or that is based on a graphic novel or a rehash of a movie or television series, will not engage me.
  6. What would the worst movie ever be about? a guy named J0e, and a v0lcan0. Or a b0nfire and some van!t!es.
  7. Do you like truffles? the chocolate kind, yes
  8. Do you like Turkish delight? {{{shudder}}}
  9. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman? I'm not looking for differences--and the word 'real' in that question is troubling
  10. What's funnier, plants or fire extinguishers? neither
  11. Which is better, leopard print or plaid? plaid, generally
  12. What would you consider ordinary? "with no special or distinctive features; normal" or "what is commonplace or standard"
  13. What is out of the ordinary? by definition, that with special or distinctive features, abnormal, uncommon, or not standard
  14. Do you ever watch COPS? enough to know that it's not made with me in mind
  15. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o? pretty much, yeah
  16. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it? it would be someone else doing something else. Prehaps a rehash of that old Canadian science show...
  17. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air? the collective imagination and lack of physics knowledge of the general public
  18. When do you act the most dramatic? when I'm in love, or miserable
  19. Are you one of those people who have, "see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards? no
  20. It's mom’s birthday. What do you get her? earrings, most likely.
  21. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now'? I don't really get like that. I figure if someone's been out of the limelight for a while--maybe good for them? They might be having a life for a change, rather than "Living in a fish eye lens, caught in the camera eye."
  22. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy? there's miles between "talked about seeing it together" and "made a specific plan, about which to bother being territorial." It's just a movie; life is too damned short for that sort of clinging.
  23. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey? probably. very. few.
  24. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake/ocean? not that I recall
  25. If you haven't would you want to? eh. I've sent enough messages, I think, and gotten no reply.
  26. If you ever did what would you write? "Help, I'm trapped in a bottle!"
  27. What do you wish you could always be protected from? cold sores, big dogs, heights, bluegrass music, cooked carrots, boredom, and tornadoes
  28. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime? fingernail clipping at work
  29. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV? fish, please!! For example: the Tropical Reef Camera, the Amazing [Netscape (!)] FishCam, and Underwater at St. Julian's Bay in Malta.
  30. Is it better to be loved or feared? it depends who's doing it, of course. I don't want to be feared by the people I care about, but also don't want to be loved by the people who make me nuts.
  31. What causes you to panic? big dogs, heights, and the thought that I'll be trapped in this job until I die
  32. Do you believe that you have a strong personality? yes
  33. When Jesus saves souls ... does he trade them in for valuable prizes? making fun of other peoples' beliefs isn't funny or cool. It's just a sign of one's own ego.
  34. What resolutions would you make if it were New Years? to stay in closer contact with the people who really matter to me. To take better care of myself. To find a better job, one that I don't hate that doesn't have the power to make me so miserable.
  35. Why wait? not waiting.
  36. Do you feel like time is on your side or working against you? time just is
  37. What do you do for yourself when you are down, to put a little joy back into your life? sleep, read, take a long shower
  38. How much Tolkien have you read? enough to know it's not for me
  39. These are the songs on the radio. Which are you most likely to listen to:
    • Time Bomb by Rancid
    • Dead Man's party by Oingo Boingo
    • The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-ha
    • 50 Ways to leave Your Lover by Paul Simon
    • Run by Collective Soul
  40. Do you believe that Jesus existed as a real person? my religious beliefs--or lack of same--are not within the topics that I discuss on the blog
  41. Do you believe he was the son of God? see above
  42. How do you feel about organized religion? I believe that it is a source of comfort and strength for more people on the planet than not. In that, it is "acceptable" and "reasonable"--regardless of one's upbringing or beliefs to the contrary. Taking exception to something that is believed does not make the exception to be fact.
  43. What sentence have you heard lately, that would sound pretty odd out of context? "there was a squirrel in my house"
  44. If you had to choose one image to be a symbol of our times, what would you pick?

    Except there is no weekend to get away from what's going on these days...
  45. Name a group of people: math geeks
  46. How many of them does it take to screw in a light bulb? 9

  47. Do you like the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie and some Muppets? haven't seen it
  48. Do you like the movie The Dark Crystal? haven't seen it
  49. Metallica or Guns N' Roses? Metallica. I was listening to Master of Puppets on Friday. Great album.
  50. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac? "follow" is putting it a little strongly
  51. Do you like reggae music? I love Shaggy with a fervor that some might find surprising...
  52. What makes your life worth it every day? writing, wool socks, online shopping for bathroom vanities, jigsaw puzzles, the kind of secrets that feel good to keep, buttery toast, and new FB friends
  53. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it? uh, I sort of nibble at most of them. Is that enough?
  54. I’ve heard people say that Jim Morrison never yawned because he was just so full of life. How often do you yawn? I'm not a big yawner unless I'm really, really tired. I probably yawn within the last half hour that I'm awake and once or twice in the morning.
  55. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy' or 'sane'? in that colloquial sense, such things are determined by the relative variance from societal norms. Obviously, in clinical terms, there are discrete indicators that provide insight into true mental illness or dysfunction.
  56. Who are the most inspiring artists: musicians, poets, and writers? they cannot be compared to each other, as if there is more or less utility in one art or another. Each of us has a subjective experience with all of those. And, anyway, poets are writers.
  57. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born? it's safe to say that something of historical significance occurred each year, every year, ever. Political unrest, invasions, musical groups disbanding. Births and deaths and marriages. The usual.
  58. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes? it's not a structured thing
  59. Are you self-sufficient? yes. In some ways, far too much. (In others, I could do with a little more.)
  60. Is it better to be wanted or needed? again, it depends who's performing the action. Either way, though, I'm not too comfortable with the concept of 'needing.'
  61. What do you feel is an appropriate age to lose one’s virginity? there is no one right age, except that it has to be over the age of consent. I believe very strongly in the legal minimum age for a person to understand the physical details and appreciate the nuances of the emotional ramifications of what occurs. Even at the minimal age, I doubt that most people are truly ready--but there has to be an objective limit, and so that's where it is. Waiting is never, ever a bad idea.
  62. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different? not across the board, no. As above, if there is any reason to wait, any doubt at all--then wait. There is always time to do it later.
  63. Are you a hard person to get to know? I am a difficult person to know, period. Whether that entails "get to know," too, I can't really say. I am aware, though, that there are those who think they know me well who in fact are in the dark about much of what makes me, me.
  64. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger? had sex with my boyfriend's best friend. As it turned out, it was not the stupidest thing I ever did, but it was crazy and ill thought-out and I strongly regret it.
  65. What's the MOST annoying sound you can think of? my desk is at work is conveniently located at the center of a compass rose, where North is the braying laugh of the world's smallest donkey who's been dispatched to listen in on all my conversations; West is Sponge Bob Square Pants with a southern accent and an over-developed sense of her own importance; South is the "I had a squirrel in my house" woman; and East is a guy who lives in his mommy's basement and seems to have devoted his life, in equal parts, to working out, eating high-protein meals, obsessing about a married woman with whom we work, and being a punk-ass bitch.

    So, in a nutshell: every damn day at work is the most annoying sound I've ever heard.
  66. What's the silliest vegetable you can think of? artichokes. The ROI is negligible, and no one has ever convinced me that they taste worth a damn.
  67. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in love...
  68. Name one thing you have referred to in the past as “better than sex”: in this post, I said that love is better than sex--of course. Isn't that nicely circular?
  69. What do you see when you turn out the light? dark
  70. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music? I'm not a blues fan (sorry, Francis), and some jazz just hurts my head, but swing makes me happy and reminds me very much of high school and band, and the friends I made there
  71. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? silver
  72. In what ways do you want your children to be like you? I wouldn't advocate for anyone to be like me. It's hard enough for me to be like me, and I've had all this practice.
  73. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you? most.
  74. What was the scariest movie you've ever seen? American Me (1992) gave me nightmares for months
  75. What was the funniest movie you've ever seen? American Pie 2(2001) made me laugh uncontrollably
  76. What was the worst movie you've ever seen? it's a tie between j0e vs. the V01can0 and The B0nf!re of the Van!t!es
  77. Are you a good massage-giver? yes
  78. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes' to? "Tell me the truth: are you lying?"
  79. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive? of course
  80. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Gandhi or Jesus or Einstein? sure
  81. Are you often sarcastic? all the time. I try to control it when I'm around people who don't like it or don't get it, but it slips out pretty much constantly.

[this is from the 5000-question meme, of which this is the second section of the eighth part; the title quotation is from American Pie 2]


  1. I stopped reading when you maligned my beloved Joe and his volcano. ;)

    1. You probably ought to recognize that any post wherein I refer to that horrific waste of celluloid twice is just a blatant cry for your attention.
      Silly onion.

    2. LOL! (But it IS a great movie) ;)

  2. You've got to admit, though, that artichokes may have the best NAME.
    (I don't think I've ever eaten one on purpose)

    1. They do - though "eggplant" is a close second.

  3. You could be all European and call them "aubergines." Then you have to call zucchini "courgette"...or maybe that's squash.

    Great, now my stomach's growling.....

    1. You're right, aubergine is a much better option, since it at least describes the color.

      I have literally never seen the word "courgette" before.

      I'm hungry too, but for cherry pie, because that's my Pavlovian response to our more Lucyian conversations. ;)