9.11.2020

she thinks I could die now, and it would be enough

Of course there's the rose 
tranced across sun-warmed tile, 

but also the soft tattoo 
of newsprint along a commuter's palm, 
 
the flush of a motel sign the instant 
it signals No Vacancy. I have always loved 

these moments of delicate transition: 
waking alone in a borrowed house 

to a slim meridian of dawn barring 
the pillow before the cool breeze, 

a curtain of rain on the iron steps, rain 
laving lawn chairs arranged 

for a conversation finished days ago. 
The Japanese call this utsuroi, 

a way of finding beauty at the point 
it is altered, so it is not the beauty 

of the rose, but its evanescence 
which tenders the greater joy. 

Beneath my hands the cat's thick fur 
dapples silver, the slant of afternoon. 

How briefly they flourish then turn, 
exalted litanies in the rifts 

 between milliseconds, time enough for a life 
 to change, and change utterly. 

 The magnesium flash of headlights 
 passing backlit the boy's face 

 in my novel—the heroine's epiphany 
 and she knows she is leaving, a canopy 

 of foliage surrounds his dark hair 
 whispering over, over—that sweet rending. 

 Nothing linear to this plot, simply 
 the kaleidoscopic click and shift 

 of variations undone on the instant: 
 evening as it vanishes gilds 

 the chambermaid's thin blond hair 
 in her hotel window and she thinks

I could die now, and it would be enough. 
Long beyond nightfall, after the café's closing 

the waiters slide from their jackets and set 
places for themselves, paper lanterns blowing 

in the trees, leaf shapes casting and recasting 
their fugitive spell over the tables, 

over the traffic's sleek sussurrus.

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