1.18.2021

his voice a dumb hum like the sound of surf you know must be pounding

The minute the doctor says colon cancer 
you hardly hear anything else. 
He says other things, something 
about something. Tests need to be done, 
but with the symptoms and family something, 
excess weight, something about smoking, 
all of that together means something something 
something something, his voice a dumb hum 
like the sound of surf you know must be pounding, 
but the glass window that has dropped down 
between you allows only a muffled hiss 
like something something. He writes a prescription 
for something, which might be needed, he admits. 
He hands you something, says something, says goodbye, 
and you say something. In the car your wife says 
something something and something about dinner, 
about needing to eat, and the doctor wanting tests 
doesn’t mean anything, nothing, and something 
something something about not borrowing trouble 
or something. You pull into a restaurant 
where you do not eat but sit watching her 
eat something, two plates of something, 
blurry in an afternoon sun thick as ketchup, 
as you drink a glass of something-cola 
and try to recall what the doctor said 
about something he said was important, 
a grave matter of something or something else. 

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