4.28.2021

I was the moment before I was the blank in your memory I was the one thing you had just forgotten

Remember me 
but you cannot remember me

you cannot 
remember the first time you saw me 
how did you know 
me then 
 
how 
if you had never 
seen me before 
 
where did you think 
the light was coming from 
the small cloud glowing 
dancing slowly 
god of the glowworms 
above the dark oaks 
there in the hollow 
behind the hill 
 
behind the rough monument 
to a day you had not seen there 
never forget it said
 

at times I watched you 
through the daylight 
from closer than you 
would have believed 
 
I was the moment before 
I was the blank in your memory 
I was the one thing 
you had just forgotten 
 
you never heard me 
to you I had no voice 
no one else heard me either 
but when you saw me you listened 
when you watched for me 
you listened 
 
you with your many questions 
I have none 
 
you ask where I go 
even when you see me 
 
you with your names for me 
from other voices 
times places 
serious names saints’ names 
mocking names childish names 
will-o’-the-wisp I have 
no name 
 
no country 
and I come to you where I please 
seen or unnoticed 
wherever you may be 
 
and I have no answer 
but you never forget me 
whether you know it or not 
 
I have no age 
you do not have to 
believe in me 
living or dead 
 
I like long evenings  
in spring in autumn 
mist is a friend 
I am alien 
to expectations 
absent from definitions 
 
I am not to be lured 
not to be caught 
like a poor fish 
 
I was the light when the board creaked 
just then 
I am not to be called back 
 
when you saw me 
I was never 
anyone else 

[W.S. Merwin {1927-2019} “Fox Fire”, from The Moon before Morning

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