cheer up. Things could be worse. I was working on a nice, fat suspension, smokin' cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo

Lots of butt-kicking in this set, whether literal or metaphorical.

Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) - "John McClane (Bruce Willis) is now almost a full-blown alcoholic and is suspended from the NYPD. But when a bomb goes off in the Bonwit Teller Department Store the police go insane trying to figure out what's going on. Soon, a man named Simon calls and asks for McClane. Simon tells Inspector Walter Cobb that McClane is going to play a game called Simon Says. He says that McClane is going to do the tasks he assigns him. If not, he'll set off another bomb. With the help of a Harlem electrician (Samuel L. Jackson), John McClane must race all over New York trying to figure out the frustrating puzzles that the crafty terrorist gives him. But when a bomb goes off in a subway station right by the Federal Reserve (the biggest gold storage in the world) things start to get heated."
source: I own the series on DVD
I watched it because: it's Christmas!
IMDB: 7.6/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 58% Audience: 83%
my IMDB: 7/10

notable quote: "'I'll tell you what your problem is, you don't like me 'cause you're a racist!'

    'What?'

    'You're a racist! You don't like me 'cause I'm white!'

    'I don't like you because you're gonna get me killed!'"

MPAA rating: R

directed by: John McTiernan

my notes: there is some way heavy-handed cheesy acting here - the dreadful actress who plays the bad guy's sidekick is simply laughable anytime she's onscreen, and Jeremy Irons is SUCH a stretch in this role. But Willis and Jackson make a good team, and the action is mostly believable and engrossing. I do like this one!

first reviewed here
overall: recommended

Beyond Christmas, a.k.a. Beyond Tomorrow (1940) - "Melton (Harry Carey), Chadwick (C. Aubrey Smith) and O'Brien (Charles Winninger), rich but lonely heads of an engineering firm, invite three strangers to dinner on Christmas Eve. Only two show up, James (Richard Carlson) and Jean (Jean Parker), they fall in love and become friends with their three benefactors, until the latter are killed in a plane crash and come back to their old home as ghosts. In the coming months, true love encounters some rough spots. Can ghostly O'Brien help the young folks? "

source: streamed on Amazon Prime
I watched it because: I wanted something Christmasy that I hadn't seen before
IMDB: 6.5/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: N/A% Audience: 49%
my IMDB: 6/10

notable quote: "To tell you the truth, I'm relieved that the van Ripers are not coming. He's telling the same jokes he told 20 years ago... and she dyes her hair. I think it's a shrimp pink now."

MPAA rating: approved [TV-G]

directed by: A. Edward Sutherland

my notes: silly, maudlin, and strange - but I liked it
overall: recommended

Nine Lives (2016) - "Tom Brand (Kevin Spacey) is a daredevil billionaire at the top of his game. His eponymous company FireBrand is nearing completion on its greatest achievement to date: the tallest skyscraper in the northern hemisphere. But Tom's workaholic lifestyle has disconnected him from his family, particularly his beautiful wife Lara (Jennifer Garner) and his adoring daughter Rebecca (Malina Weissman). Rebecca's 11th birthday is here, and she wants the gift she wants every year—a cat. Tom hates cats, but he is without a gift and time is running out. His GPS directs him to a mystical pet store brimming with odd and exotic cats, where the store's eccentric owner, Felix Perkins (Christopher Walken) presents him with a majestic tomcat named Mr. Fuzzypants. En route to give his daughter her dream pet, a bizarre turn of events finds Tom trapped inside the body of Mr. Fuzzypants. Adopted by his own family, he begins to experience what life is truly like for the family pet, and as a cat, Tom begins to see his family and his life through an unexpected new perspective. Meanwhile, his family adjusts to life with an odd, stubborn cat, and his son David (Robbie Amell), steps up in ways Tom never expected. If any hope exists of returning to his family as the husband and father they deserve, Tom needs to learn why he has been placed in this peculiar situation and the great lengths he must go to earn back his human existence. "
source: streamed on Amazon Prime
I watched it because: I wanted something fun
IMDB: 5.3/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 14% Audience: 41%
my IMDB: 7/10

notable quote: "You look familiar.'

    [annoyed] 'I'm Tom Brand, I own FireBrand...?'

    'Yesss. I use newspaper in the poopy boxes and I see your face all the time.'"

MPAA rating: PG

directed by: Barry Sonnenfeld

my notes: dumb, insulting to both men and cats, and quite funny. Christopher Walken is a comedic gem.
overall: recommended

Christmas Cartoons - 14 Christmas Cartoon Classics (2016) - "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas with this cartoon collection of 14 classic Christmas cartoons. Enjoy 2 hours of such favorites as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Jack Frost, Christmas Comes But Once a Year, The Candlemaker, Snow Foolin', The Shanty Where Santy Claus Lives, Toy Will Be Toys, Santa's Pocket Watch and more. Remastered and restored audio for the best sound and picture."
source: streamed on Amazon Prime
I watched it because: I wanted to see some of the classic cartoons and thought this would be a way to get them all at once.
IMDB: 6.6/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: N/A%
my IMDB: 1/10 DNF

MPAA rating: N/A

directed by: various

my notes: some really old cartoons with awful resolution, creepy storylines, and cloying music. I lasted through about 45 minutes before I had to shut it off to regain my sanity.
overall: not  recommended

[the title quotation is from Die Hard with a Vengeance]