you can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly

Why do people set their favorite song as their ringtone, if it gets annoying after a few days?     I don't know anyone who does this. I used to have custom ringtones for anyone who regularly contacts me by text or phone, but I recently deleted all of them. They weren't songs, anyway, but sound clips from TV or movies.

What do you feel when you hear someone scraping a fork on their teeth while they’re eating?     I don't know anyone who does this

How long do you think you’d be OK with eating the same thing every day?     I'm pretty patient with stuff like that. As it is now, most of my breakfasts and lunches are pretty much the same. It's not so bad.

Why have a separate word for raisins instead of just calling them dried grapes?     because words are fun! And specific words that replace phrases are even better.

If your favorite person turned into a zombie, would you try to keep them around in case a cure appears, or kill them straightaway?     I suppose I'd want to bump them off pretty quick. It seems like being a zombie would be painful, or at least uncomfortable, and I wouldn't want to lot them go through that if I had any choice.

Would you fly a jet plane into an erupting volcano… if after dying, you’d immediately come back to life as if nothing happened? You know, just for a new experience…     uh, no.

Does peanut butter go on top or the bottom of a peanut butter jelly sandwich?     isn't it clear to everyone else that the peanut butter goes on the bread (both slices) and the jelly in between? That's the only way that the jelly doesn't soak into the bread.

Have you ever seen a badly behaved pet and wondered… why do they put up with this guy?     yes, I've thought that many times. But I've also wondered what some self-respecting pets are doing with the stupid jerks who won't train or otherwise treat them right.

Do you ever catch yourself viewing clerks and other people you meet during the day as machines that are there to serve their function only, rather than just seeing them as another person, who is just like you?     No. I'm not like this at all. I'm more like the yokel in the movies who is derided for saying Thank You to the help, rather than ignoring them like the sophisticates do. In this, I give away my small-town nature.

Do you know any swear words in Latin?     uh, no? Is that something that people do?? (Guess so!)

Do you actively seek inspiration?     nope, I think that inspiration is like a hummingbird. It's not going to roost on you unless you act like it's not there, and like you don't care one way or the other.

What’s your favorite part of the day?     evening. That's when I read, and stop doing.

 

[from here; the title quotation is by Dick Van Dyke, from My Lucky Life : in and out of show business]