at some point, deep in the night, we were swinging on the jungle gym and showers of sparks were flying out of our mouths

1. Are there any new positions you wanted to try but are too shy to ask?

     the pairing of shyness and sex doesn't make much sense to me. If a person is so uncomfortable with their partner that they don't feel capable of expressing their wishes, there doesn't seem to be as much intimacy as one might wish for in a sexual relationship. To put it more directly: if you can't talk about it, then why are you doing it??

2. Have you ever hooked up on a swing set? 

     no, but one of the most unforgettably romantic experiences I've ever had took place on a sort of jungle gym. It was during college (of course). Took a walk with Russ-who-thought-he-was-out-of-my-league - both of us drunk - that ended near the lake. We climbed onto the playground structure, where he made me look out at the scenery: the bright moon, the dark and smooth lake, the trees and woods surrounding. It was my hometown, and he knew I took it for granted. He wanted me to see it like he did, coming from a part of the world where lakes and trees and hills were nothing like this. To see the beauty. To see how lucky we were, to live in a place that prioritized such beauty. He didn't give me much, and in truth he later broke my heart. That night, though, he gave me a gift that's lasted for decades.

3. Is it possible to be turned on by a long-term partner without touching at all?

             I should hope so! An intellectual sexual attraction is prehaps the most powerful of all. Knowing likes (and dislikes) and which buttons to push (oh, behave) allows for both directness and improvisation, each of which can be key in making meaningful sexual connection.

4. Which afternoon delight would you prefer—a lunchtime quickie, or a quick conversation so hot it melts the phone lines?

      conversation, for sure. It lasts longer, and the results can affect much future interaction.

     However, there is a lot to be said for unexpected meetings, taking advantage of opportunities, and of course for making the most of the fleeting chances that we all get....

5. Have you ever trusted a partner enough to let them shave you anywhere they wanted (or vice versa)? 

    that's honestly never arisen as a goal, a desire, or even a mention. I certainly do wish for that degree of trust, even if it's not expressed in that particular way.

6. Do you remember one of your first good erotic experiences?

      I dated a Prince fan in high school, and he even looked a little like him: dark, smoldery good looks, lean and wiry. We went out for a couple months, maybe, and the extent of our romance was long whispered phone calls (see #4, above!) and the occasional dance at school, where we pushed the boundaries of appropriate behavior with our sultry dancing and occasionally found a particularly dark corner to be alone. Everything about him was lovely and affirming and delicious - until he left me for one of my friends. Sigh. Despite the sad ending, though, the experience was fun and funny, and I've only good things to say about it (and him) even now.

7. What kind of porn movie would you like to make (kinky, funny, or classy)? 

     those descriptors alone make me even more certain that porn production is not for me. Kinky is just too cheesy (and I'd never be able to stay in character or remember my dialog). Funny would make it too personal, I think, and would blur the lines between make-believe and real life. Classy is surely a misnomer, since even the blandest and most professionally produced film of this sort would still be tawdry. Right?

 

[from 269 Red Hot XXX-Rated Questions; the title quotation is by Donna Tartt, from The Goldfinch]