there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one

 1 If you had to name the one thing you have witnessed in your life that best represents Goodness, what would you say? 

    Adelheide (about whom a chunk of this post was written). I mean, she's a normal person, not an ethereal being from another planet, but she is for sure 'good' in objective ways. Kind, open-hearted, and capable of great silliness. Generous. Insightful. Thoughtful. 

    She unhesitatingly extended an invitation when I really, really needed to get away from my life for a while. She provided a place to land, space to do my solitary thing, and also company sometimes, too. Took me to a mall, to visit friends, and to a funeral. That last might sound strange but it's an example of how included I was, and how immediately comfortable. Her entire family (sans brother, who was not present) behaved that way, so it's clear where her goodness got some roots. 

    It's not all about me, though. She lives her life in a way that promotes the happiness and health of the people around her. That amounts to goodness, doesn't it?

 2 If you had to name the person who turned out to be furthest from your first impression of them, who would it be? 

    former spouse. My first impression was that he was a sullen, arrogant, drunk asshole. To be fair, he was not without moments of each of those, but overall he turned out to be a cheerful, humble, sober, nice person. 

    We met—as far as I can remember (and at the time he was no better at recalling...)—at a house party at someone else's apartment. My place at the time was FAR too small for a party, and he'd never have behaved like this at his own. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, slightly apart from the rest of the group, big bottle of Canadian Club (his whiskey of choice at the time) in his lap. He was wearing a sort of doofy "ethnic" shirt, jeans, and Minnetonka moccasins (yes, the kind with intricate beaded design on the top). Anytime anyone said anything to him or even looked at him, he would scowl and take another drink.  

     Talking about it later, he explained the situation (he'd been going through a particularly rough patch) and acknowledged that he was being an obnoxious weirdo. The following fifteenish years bore that out. Glad I gave him another chance.

 3 If you could make someone you know less ignorant about one thing, who would you pick, and what would it be?

    I have a friend with, er, questionable self-awareness. They rarely realize, or care, how their behavior and attitudes affect others. If I could open that window, even for a moment, I think it would make a big difference in how they act, and that in turn would change how people deal with them, all for the better. Specifically, I would open their eyes to:

        • humor with a basis in hurting people and classes of people (gender, age, educational level)

        • stereotyping, and why it serves no purpose except alienation

        • monopolizing conversation

        • insensitivity to differences (social, political, economic, personality), and why sensitivity to it is beneficial to both parties

        • bringing an end to interactions, because wandering away from electronic conversations feels the same as wandering away from a face-to-face interaction. For that matter, closing face-to-face conversations (saying "goodbye" or "good night", for example).

 4 If you could have the autograph of any athlete you do not have, whose would it be, and what would you like them to sign? 

    The Big Dumb Dummy. I'd have him sign a, uhm, part of my body. I'd then have it tattooed over the signature. 

    Or prehaps a football card.

 5 If you could suddenly find out that one work of fiction was actually true, what book would you select? 

    A Game of Thrones (1996). Oh, wait....

 6 If you had to receive the same (affordable) gift, besides money, from everyone you know on your next birthday, what would you want? 

    a handwritten note about how we met, what our relationship means, and how they feel about me 

 7 If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would you wish it to be? 

    sell all the big-ticket items (or prehaps every single lower value item, instead) from my eBay store. I still like being an eBay seller but to have a huge day would be terrific—especially right now, when I have a couple of big and unexpected bills hanging over my head. 

 

 [from If2: 500 New Questions for the game of life; the title quotation is by Virginia Woolf, from To the Lighthouse]